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Why Nice Guys Finish Last: How to Develop a Personality That Protects You

Everyone’s personality is different. Some people like to present facts and reason when getting along with others, while some people get angry when they disagree, and some people are cowardly and speak slowly and softly.
A person’s way of doing things is usually related to his personality. People who do not have a strong personality are extremely vulnerable to “habitual harm” from others unintentionally, indirectly or even deliberately.
Why do people who are not strong suffer “habitual harm”?

Some people face those with weak temperaments and like to use hurtful ways to test the other person’s bottom line. However, if they meet people with strong personalities and will not give in on trivial matters, they will stop “habitually hurting” others. Behavior.

What causes this phenomenon?

Under the influence of traditional thinking, people will subconsciously form a character of bullying the weak and fearing the strong.
As the saying goes, when it comes to beating a dog, it depends on the owner. During the period of feudal society, the lives of the people at the bottom were very difficult, and people hoped to make their lives better by pleasing those with status and status.
For those who are weaker than themselves or have no status, they will have a bad attitude and even punch and kick them.
In the TV dramas we watch, we often see working people being bullied, and small business owners usually get no benefits even by nodding and bending. The weaker they are in society, the less people will care about the harm they suffer.
At this time, a strong personality is a protective barrier.
A person’s personality is the reflection of his psychological characteristics in behavior and attitude. It is also the attitude of people toward the world around them through their own behavior.

Some people bury their thoughts deep in their hearts and act and speak without leakage. Others will fully display their personality to let others understand themselves. There is also such a person who protects himself through the strength of his personality.
In order not to be violated, you should show your strong side in front of others and make others feel that you are not easy to bully.
Even in film and television works, as villains who harm others, they always appear as ruthless and ruthless. In visual presentation, they are also strong and decisive in speaking and acting.
But as the plot develops, they will also have “weaknesses” in their hearts, and there will be a soft side that they deliberately hide and unknown to others, and this is often exploited in the end, and used as a breakthrough for the decent protagonist to defeat the villain. .
In order not to be harmed and taken advantage of by others, they arm themselves with strong personalities.

Being too strong will have the opposite effect

A reasonably strong character will make others awe you, while an overly strong character will make others stay away from you or even dislike you, and in the end it will become a handle for others to take advantage of you.

Since ancient times, people have known how to hide themselves appropriately. Every time they show their sharpness, there will always be a day when the ship capsizes.

Concubine Hua in The Legend of Zhen Huan is an example. Concubine Hua has a deep family background and is deeply favored by the emperor. However, she often suppresses other concubines in the harem and shows her strength everywhere, which makes everyone dissatisfied. In the end, she needs When help came, no one came to help.

It can be seen that an overly strong character will also cause trouble for oneself. As a person, you should distinguish right from wrong. When you should be strong to protect yourself, don’t choose to bow your head and endure. When you need to avoid his sharp edge, don’t be hot-headed and ask someone for provocation. Forward.

“Yi Long Xi Ci Xia” says:
“The inchworm bends to seek trust; the dragon and snake stings to protect oneself.”
That is what we usually call a man who can bend and stretch.
How to avoid “habitual injury”?

As mentioned earlier, those who lack a strong character will suffer “habitual harm” from others, so we must get rid of the cowardly character and let a suitably strong part of our character protect ourselves.

Do rational analysis before doing anything

Everyone will have waves in their heart when encountering something, and perceptual thinking is indispensable for a person.

But in the process of doing things, if you are dominated by emotion and do not have your own rational analysis, you will often regret it in the end.

Once a behavior occurs, sometimes there is no room for change, so actions and decisions must be made with a cool head.

American scholars Fishbein and Ajzen pointed out that rational behavior is behavior that consciously affects one’s own behavior by analyzing how attitudes.
In other words, if a person remains rational and considers a variety of factors before doing something to judge whether his or her behavior is valuable, then others will not indiscriminately inflict harm on this person.

Develop a decisive character
Strong people usually do not hesitate in making decisions and act decisively. If you want to have a strong character, you need to learn to analyze things calmly and get rid of your indecision, otherwise you will get into trouble.
Decisive behavior does not mean making a subconscious decision, but firmly choosing the side that is good for you after weighing the pros and cons, and not thinking about anything else after making your choice.
Don’t always think about “if only…” or “it would be better if I didn’t do this”, but think about the solution after encountering the problem.
Have your own opinion
People with strong opinions will not waver on issues involving themselves. They will have their own opinions and ideas when facing things. They will also act according to the trend and will never be sloppy.
In daily life, if you are fed up with being “habitually hurt” and endlessly exploited by others, you must learn to have your own opinions in doing things, distinguish right from wrong, and stick to yourself unswervingly.