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Those wounds you’ve had will be your medals

  Girlfriend A is in love. To be precise, this relationship seems to have ended before it even started.
   That night, A was having a small gathering with friends, drinking wine and chatting happily, and received a WeChat message from the man, asking why A caused him trouble. At this time, A is excitedly telling us how she has wisely assisted and added the icing on the cake to that man’s career. Selflessly doing this for him, A never takes credit. She just wanted to silently dedicate to the person she loved, and this selfless devotion made her feel like she was fervently in love. However, receiving this question on WeChat made A’s grievances spew out instantly.
   At that moment, she suddenly realized that she did not care about the feedback of the other party. Maybe it was alcohol, maybe it was the grievances of the past few days, which made A give up all the previous sensible and generous. The two of them simply spoke up.
   “I don’t want to be with anyone.” In the end, it was the other party’s words, which completely hurt A. Originally, she thought that they were together, that they had a tacit understanding, and that they had the same soul. I thought it was two people’s love for each other, but I didn’t expect that because of this sentence, it became one person’s self-indulgent love. The relationship between men and women is sometimes so fragile and vulnerable. A single sentence can connect a feeling, and it can also break a feeling, gathering and dispersing are often in one thought.
   A sat in the Barcelona chair dumbfounded, such a dazzling master work was also overshadowed by A’s sentimentality. She knew her heart was broken, but there were no tears in her eyes. Perhaps, this is the benefit of age. After a certain age, a woman will be hurt in her heart, and it is hard to see it in face, so she has to live it. People call it maturity, but A thinks it’s just a scab over the wound.
   At this moment, friends are having a good time in the yard, only A sits silently in the room, his eyes are lost. I saw her grief, poured her a glass of water, and we chatted in the moonlight.
   A told me a lot of their stories. They have known each other for many years, and both are doing very well in their respective industries. A said that they are very similar, they are both so hardworking, and their three views are compatible and appreciate each other, so they have always been good friends who can talk to each other. At a party, they drank wine and chatted about their relationship, so there was a little more ambiguity between the two. Later, the two tacitly agreed to be together. There have also been sweet love words and expectations for the future, but because of practical reasons, this relationship has always been a little ethereal. A actually knows that the two may not have a realistic future, but she just hopes that when they are together, the two can cherish each other. But ask for good things, not about the future. However, unexpectedly, this time the other party directly denied the relationship, and A suddenly felt a stab in his heart.
   I sat across from A and quietly listened to their stories. At this moment, through the glass window, I can see the lively appearance of my friends in the yard. It feels like a reflection of the hearts of modern people. It is noisy outside and lonely inside. In fact, those friends who are talking, laughing and arguing at the moment also have their own inner pains, but they don’t tell others, or they can’t talk about it, or they are covered with scabs. This is the pain that adults have to face, everyone has it, but some people hide it better.
   A finished their story in just a few words. In fact, it was quite short, not vigorous, and nothing different. It was nothing more than the anger and resentment between men and women in the city, but when we are in it, we often feel that our own A relationship is the most unique, the most detached from vulgar taste, and even the most touching true love. Because we are like the little prince, we have carefully cultivated our own rose, we have worked hard for it, and even tried our best, so we feel that this rose is unique in the world. In fact, it is just the most common one among all living beings. Just one. But, this is love, because our efforts have made this love. It is our own hands that put the laurel of love on this rose and give it the name of love, so it is our love.
   “The little prince also left his planet because of a quarrel and said goodbye to the rose, but when he saw the rose garden on the earth, he missed the rose on his planet even more.” I said to A, “Do you know why?” A turned around, looked at me, and shook his head.
   “I think that only after seeing the wider world, did the little prince realize what he yearns for the most and what is most important.” A nodded and said, “But the feelings are different, people are all greedy for freshness. Yes, the old relationship is nothing more than a talk.” I clapped her hand, “I didn’t say this to comfort you, because people often ignore people who are important to them, and they will find the most precious after going through the world. has been lost. Let him go, and he will come back. But by then, if he won’t come back, it may not be that important to you anymore.” With tears in A’s eyes, she lowered her head and remained silent.
   In fact, I understand her unwillingness, understand her powerlessness, and understand her self-torture. How many women in this world are like that? It is not easy to meet, and what is even more rare is to meet your own heart. However, growing from an ignorant little girl to a mature woman, most of them will be hurt a little bit. Since injury is inevitable, how should we deal with it? Is sinking into which self-consumption? Or in the practice of returning to peace? Or wait for the cocoon to break into a butterfly?
   In fact, everyone will say that emotional bloggers all over the Internet are teaching you how to get along with the opposite sex, and they are all telling you that you must have a strategy in your relationship, and don’t be foolish to dig your heart and lungs; if you get too easily, the other party will not. Will cherish your sincerity; there are always some people who are easily confused by routines. The better you treat them, the less they cherish them. Who hasn’t encountered a few emotional whirlpools?
   Short videos and emotional lessons like this seem to make people more confused and overwhelmed with emotions.
   Indeed, the relationship between the sexes is the most complicated relationship in the world. No matter how highly educated you are and how successful your career is, it seems that as soon as a woman falls into a relationship, her IQ immediately becomes negative. How can the person who worries us be so demagogic? When you walk out of this relationship one day, looking back, he is just an ordinary person, you will even doubt yourself, God, was I blind? How can you love him so much? Even willing to give everything?
   Things that science can’t explain, things that reason can’t control, we often attribute to fate. Fate is an unspeakable and wonderful thing, it is beyond common sense, just because the crowd glances at you one more time, a look, a hug, a kiss, make two people who have no blood relationship so closely connected, Is there anything more inexplicable and mysterious than love?
   Since we can’t explain it clearly, we can’t control it, and we can’t control it, then we might as well let the bullet fly for a while and let it take its course. The so-called going with the flow is not to treat it negatively, nor to accept it passively, but to follow your heart, perceive your emotions, understand your needs, and then follow your heart. It starts when it starts and ends when it ends. At least don’t let yourself regret it, why not just do it to your heart’s content? People come and go is the normal state of life, accept yourself, and accept the arrangement of fate. In fact, fate is not intended to make things difficult for us, and the person who failed you did not intentionally hurt our hearts. How to treat this person is all about self-awareness.
   Wang Yangming said that the unity of knowledge and action, we must first expand our cognition and improve our pattern before we can make progress in behavior. The more you grow, the more armor you have. It is enough to think of the past, to be compassionate, and to be safe in the present.
   Those injuries you have suffered will become your medals and make you shine. When one day, you find that those who have hurt you can no longer hurt you, you will grow up.
   Later, A told me that she had not slept all night and was very sad. But the next day, when the sun rose, she got up as usual, blended in with the crowd, and went to work hard for her life. Without that person, it seems that there is nothing missing, but there is less unnecessary concern, but also more peace. She knew that there would be another relationship worth looking forward to.
   I left a message to A’s WeChat: Do your best, know the destiny, if it really doesn’t work, then go to him!