The state of your parents is your future

　　”Don’t rush back next year, you’ve been tossing around for so long, and you’ll just play with your phone when you come back.” When my cousin fiddled with the phone for the third time, responding to my aunt’s greetings with “ummm” and “okay”, she says.
　　My cousin put his phone in his pocket and smiled, “The Spring Festival Gala is boring, our group is giving out red envelopes.”
　　”Then you can also teach me how to play WeChat, okay? We can still grab it together. When you go back to Shanghai, Mom can also video chat with you.” The aunt said.
　　”You can just make a phone call at ordinary times. Wechat is quite troublesome. You forget things so much, you must not remember them.” Cousin looked helpless, “Besides, your mobile phone can’t even connect to the Internet, and you can’t use Wechat.” ”
　　So Ah, then I won’t learn.”
　　”Why don’t you buy a smart phone for auntie that can access the Internet? It’s not expensive.” I asked.
　　”It’s not expensive, but you don’t know what kind of trouble they can cause.” He talked about the parents of his colleagues in the company, who lost tens of thousands of yuan on their salary cards because they accidentally downloaded a Trojan horse software, and friends’ parents. Parents, falling asleep while playing a movie with traffic turned on, spent thousands of dollars overnight. “Both of them are over 60 years old. If you teach today and forget about it next week, it’s better to just leave it like this, just be safe and easy.” He said.
　　In my first year of work, my parents planned to travel to Thailand, and I was in a different place. I was overwhelmed by a new project. I was afraid that the two of them would suffer from language barriers when they traveled, so they tried their best to discourage them. Using the hot and humid weather, the unstable political situation, the crowded crowd, and the sweet and spicy food that they don’t like as excuses, in order to completely dispel this idea, I resorted to my trump card, “If something happens, please let me know What should I do?”
　　”When you went to gymnastics when you were a child, and your body was covered with injuries and calluses, and then you decided to go abroad, when you left your hometown alone, we never asked you this question.” My mother answered me like this, “We will sign up for a regular tour group, book a star hotel, and stay safe every day if we don’t go out after 9:00 p.m., just like you did every time you went out when you were young.”
　　Atul Gawande wrote in “The Best Farewell”: “We want autonomy for ourselves, but we want security for those we love.” Much of what we want to give to those we care about is ourselves Strong rejection, but when we give, we rarely care about the other person’s feelings. When we were young, eager to take risks, eager to try new things, and eager to experience every kind of life to the fullest, it was our parents who gave us support and affirmation, but when they needed the same encouragement and help, we often refused because of trouble and avoidance.
　　It’s not that my cousin doesn’t want to buy a smartphone worth several thousand yuan, he just doesn’t want to take the time to teach his parents. And all the negative factors I listed when I blocked my parents were not worrying about them in essence, but just an excuse of “don’t want to worry about it”. The real worry is to take 10,000 measures to help them prepare for a rainy day, instead of using 10,000 excuses to prevent them from trying and enjoying.
　　If cultivating children is like reincarnation, and can correct all kinds of deviations on their growth path, then helping parents to feel more in life is a preview of their later years. Their current living conditions may be your living conditions 40 years from now.
　　As children, what we can do is not just to limit their choices in the name of safety, but to help them live a free life with more value and self, even if it is only a small part, or even a holiday.