The Science of Soulmates: How Magnetic Fields and Shared Perspectives Lead to Lasting Friendships
There is a wonderful power between people.
Some people still have a sense of distance even if they get along day and night; some people seem to have known each other for many years even if they meet for the first time.
Professor Chen Guo once said: “Only people with compatible magnetic fields can recognize and appreciate each other and become bosom friends.”
All relationships, seemingly accidental, are in fact inevitable.
If the magnetic field is not compatible, they will eventually part ways; if the magnetic field is consistent, they will last forever.
01
Like-minded, attracted to each other.
The Douban “I Love Psychology” group has this question:
How important is it to find a like-minded friend?
Someone replied: When you are with him, you can talk about the world at any time, and all you do are things you are interested in.
Some people also say: Two people treat each other honestly, can understand and tolerate each other, hurt each other at will, and never ask for anything in return for helping.
People with similar interests are together, which is the beauty of “can only be felt, but cannot be expressed in words”.
The fate between Yu Hua and Mo Yan began with words. The two hit it off right away and cherished each other for more than 30 years.
When they participated in a literary forum, they were asked to write about the reasons for their writing.
Yu Hua wrote “I don’t want to be a dentist, I don’t want to go to work, I want to sleep late”; Mo Yan joked: “I want to get a pair of leather shoes but I don’t have money, so I can earn royalties by writing novels.”
In short, neither of the two confessed to a love of literature.
Not only did they have a good understanding, but they also teased each other.
Mo Yan said that Yu Hua only knew how to pull out teeth, and pulled out all the teeth that could be pulled out in the town, so he could only write novels.
When others commented on the simplicity of Mo Yan’s writing style, Yu Hua joked, “Because he doesn’t know much.”
Both of them are willing to be lonely and devote themselves to writing. They don’t have many friends, and they call each other when they are really bored.
Although they talk about disgust, they have never been stingy in their affirmation and praise for each other.
Mo Yan once expressed his admiration for Yu Hua in the book, and said with emotion: Yu Hua’s books are half less than his, but his influence is half more.
And when Yu Hua faced the fierce competition for “No. 1 Nobel Prize winner”, he did not hesitate to offend a group of fellow writers and supported Mo Yan.
They have endless topics to talk about, and they can connect with each other even if they are relatively silent.
Romain Rolland said: “In this world, whoever realizes the state of friendship and utter devotion will taste the joy of heaven and earth.”
With the attraction of interests, two people can always understand each other and give each other support and strength.
Getting along with each other is like a game, there is interaction and feedback, and the excited neurons are always mobilized.
He can be a listener or a confidant; he can be a heartless friend, or a knight who draws his sword to help.
Having a confidant in life is like a breeze and a bright moon singing wine as a song, and can even overcome the barriers of age and identity.
Even if separated by thousands of mountains and rivers, we can reach the same goal by different routes.
02
The three perspectives are the same and resonate at the same frequency.
Psychologist Theodore Newcomb once conducted an experiment:
He brought together strangers to discuss controversial topics, and then asked each participant to rate how likable the other was.
The results showed that people who agreed with each other in the discussion rated each other highly.
That is to say, people with common views are more likely to recognize each other, and only those with the same three views can resonate at the same frequency.
Video blogger is 28 years old and still a PhD student.
Once I went back to my hometown to chat with a classmate, and the other party said: “You see, we are all married, and you are still studying. What are your plans for the future?”
Nan Shanbei expressed his thoughts seriously:
After graduation, he wants to travel first, and then return to his hometown to do research. He thinks there are many good projects in his hometown.
The students were astonished after hearing this:
“You are almost 30 years old, why don’t you look for a job right away? You have been studying for so many years and can’t go out to make a living, and you have to go back to your hometown. What is the difference with us!”
Nanshanbei was at a loss for words for a moment and did not continue the chat.
Later, he told his friend about his plan, and instead of objecting, his friend supported him very much.
In life, we all come across people who disagree with us:
If you learn a hobby, he says you are not doing business; if you are friendly to others, he says you have ulterior motives;
You share it with him, he thinks you are showing off; you think it is funny, he thinks it is too boring…
Different starting points make it difficult to communicate and coordinate.
Therefore, you don’t have to please those who disagree with you, and it is impossible to persuade those who disagree with you.
People with different perspectives are like two parallel lines, no matter how they are extended, they cannot be brought together. The more they communicate, the more lonely they will feel.
And people with the same three views can move in the same direction without much words or explanations.
If people want to chat with each other, they must first have the same topic; but to chat for a long time, they rely on the same cognitive ability.
Only when thoughts are on the same dimension can they be used for a long time.
03
Similar souls, equal energies.
The donors are four boys from Room 313 of Zhu Kezhen College of Zhejiang University.
From September 2022, they will jointly set up a bursary to support Zhejiang University students who are in difficulty, and agreed to keep donating for at least 20 years.
These young people escort the children’s future with full of positive energy.
People with similar souls stand at the same height, share common beliefs, and easily resonate.
What is it like to meet someone with a similar soul?
Probably it is: two people have equal energy and coincide with each other.
In “Wearing Chickens and Dancing”, two good friends, Zu Ti and Liu Kun, get up before dawn to practice swords every day.
Cold and summer never stop. In the end, both of them became the talents of generals and ministers of Wen Tao Wu Lue.
Yan Ning, a top student at Tsinghua University, had a bad grade in high mathematics in the first semester, and she was depressed.
When they met Li Yinuo, who also performed abnormally, the two talked happily, studied hard together, and completed the counterattack.
CCTV host Zhang Yue said that when he was in a bad mood, he would go to Shi Tiesheng’s house to sit and sit.
Sometimes without saying anything, he will give you a book or two, and it will restore your strength.
The same energy field will bring you together with people who share commonalities.
What you want is exactly what he wants; what you think is worth it, he also thinks it is worth it; your principles and pursuits just fit him.
Subtly, tune your emotions and goals into an equal state.
04
For the rest of your life, walk with people whose magnetic field matches you.
Someone asked Dong Yuhui how to adjust his relationship with the people around him.
He said:
Friends are not kept but attracted.
A friend should understand your spiritual world. Only people who are equal in a certain EQ, IQ or professional field can become longer-term friends.
A person’s loneliness is often not because the journey is difficult, but because there is no companion.
But in any case, don’t be afraid to go alone, and don’t cater to others.
As long as you move forward, there will always be someone similar to you who is working hard to understand the world deep in your heart.
