Someone asked on Zhihu: “Why are the smarter people the less social?” A high praise replied: “They are not apathetic, they just don’t blindly follow the crowd!” , just prefer to be alone.
If you observe smart people in your life, you will find that they are easy to meet and communicate without obstacles, but when you want to communicate with them more deeply, you always feel that there is a layer of veil. It is said that the highest state of life is inner richness and tranquility, and this state can only be experienced when one is alone.
Smart people tend to be less social. It’s not that they don’t like to make friends, it’s that they have their own choices for friends and don’t waste time trying to network. As Wang Shimin, the author of “Thinking Power” said: “Before your value is effectively established, don’t waste your energy on the circle. If you have no exchange value, all social interactions are ineffective.”
1 Smart people only associate with people of the same frequency
The ancients said: “Things gather by like, and people are divided by groups.” Anyone who has watched “Wonderful Flower” knows that Zhan Qingyun and Fu Seoul are both very capable debaters. The thrill of meeting an opponent at chess.
The two of them admired each other offstage . Zhan Qingyun said Fu Seoul was witty and humorous, while Fu Seoul praised Zhan Qingyun: “Listening to Qingyun’s debate is like being kissed by the wind!” It is also easy to communicate off-stage without any rift. When people get along with each other, they pay attention to the ideological “right match”, and it is difficult for people with different frequencies to come together. Just like Lu Xun and Run Tu, when they were young, they went up trees to catch birds, went to the sea to pick up shellfish, and went to the melon fields to thorn. But after a lapse of thirty years, the two met again, and the intimacy and joy of the year were no longer found. Runtu no longer had the high-spirited spirit of his youth, and he became obedient. Due to different growth environments, they live in completely different worlds; due to different growth rates, the two have gradually drifted apart in terms of three views and cognition.
Life is not a one-man show, people are all mutual, no one wants to be compatible all the time, and no one can always look up. A good relationship is evenly matched, and only people of the same frequency can come together.
2 Time is limited, leave it to important people and things
Steve Jobs said: “Your time is limited, don’t live for others, don’t be limited by dogma, don’t live in other people’s ideas, bravely follow your own heart and intuition.” Life is too short, we don’t need to grieve ourselves others. Don’t waste your energy on meaningless things, cherish the moment and focus on what you are good at.
I saw an 80-year-old grandma Moses on the Internet. She was at the age of rejuvenation, but she wrote novels and held art exhibitions. Her paintings are eclectic, including sketches, oil paintings, flowers and animals, hills and ravines, and each painting is lifelike. She loves learning and has published two influential books; she loves drawing more, and everything in life is an inspiration for her creations.
A reporter asked her: “You are so old, why do you still want to paint and write?” She smiled and replied: “When I was a child, life was difficult and I had no conditions; when I was an adult, I ran around for a living, but I didn’t have time; I want to do something I like.” Every day, in addition to eating, sleeping, and exercising, she paints and reads, and occasionally only hangs out with friends who write and paint in her spare time.
Feng Jicai once said: “Mediocre people fill the emptiness with liveliness, and outstanding people achieve themselves by being alone.” The rest of life is not long. It is better to be strong than to please others. It cannot prolong the length of life, but it can expand the width and thickness of life. Don’t waste time for irrelevant people, don’t waste your energy on meaningless things, it is better to be alone with trash socializing, and it is better to know two or three people with friends all over the world.
The smarter the person, the more he understands, in the limited life, the time is reserved for the important people and things.
3 Good contacts with quality and value
Han Han once said: “How far a person can go depends on who he goes with; how good a person is, depends on who he has instructed; how successful a person is, depends on who he is with.” “Parents Love” An Jie, an educated and world-savvy young lady, married a naval commander as his wife and worked as a teacher on the island. The neighbors are close to her, and she never participates in gossip; the distant relatives are close to her, and she never gets involved in those trivial matters except entertaining.
Life on the island is hard, but she can live a delicate life, planting flowers and vegetables in the yard, and setting up grape trellis. When I was tired from work and bored with life, I asked like-minded teacher Ge to drink coffee at home, sit in the spring-filled yard, sip fragrant coffee, and chat.
Even Mr. Xia, who was sketching from outside, was attracted by An Jie’s temperament. He praised her as a “woman with style” and invited her to be a model. Other members of the military were smothered by firewood, rice, oil and salt. In addition to work and life, An Jie also knew how to enrich his spiritual world. A good network is a kind of nourishment. Although An Jie is a mother of three children, she is still dignified and elegant, loved by her husband, respected by outsiders, and lived a life that everyone envies.
In the book “Organizing Relationships, a Cup of Coffee is Enough”, it says: “Energy is a precious resource, and bad friends will attach to people like leeches, slowly absorbing your energy.” And high-quality contacts , Friends of the same frequency, but will stimulate your enthusiasm for life.
4 Really smart people tend to make few friends
In the relics, it said: “The smarter the person, the less time he spends on socializing, because he knows that the network is not in others, but hidden in himself.” Han Han rarely made friends before he became famous, and his classmates were in groups. While laughing and playing in groups, he wrote his own story independently.
Most people live an ordinary life, but he has become a dazzling star in the literary world. Others said he was indifferent and aloof, but Gao Xiaosong felt that Han Han was the most reliable friend. When Gao Xiaosong was imprisoned for drunk driving, he directed “Da Wusheng” which was about to be staged. He only made a phone call to Han Han: “When the movie premieres, are you free to go to the show?” Han Han agreed immediately, and immediately promoted Gao Xiaosong. He was still racing in other places on the day of the show, and he ran non-stop as soon as it was over. To the scene to cheer for Gao Xiaosong.
Friends are not as valuable as they are, and the confidence when they are down is far better than the staggering of the wine table.
Just like the writer Xue Xiaochan once said: “When people reach a certain age, they go to recycling. At the end of the receipt, they will have confidants and a cup of light tea, and live their life the way they want.” Most people are friendly, but only have deep friendship with a few people with the same frequency. Time is life and value to him, and he must cherish it.