One tenth of a mile from love

I lost Ai. I don’t know how to tell you guys about this. The day it happened, Ai asked me out and I dawdled behind her, and she glared back at me twice. Ai walks fast, and every time I go out with her, I get left far behind. Most of the time, Ai would stop and wait for me when she saw how slow I was. However, that day Ai didn’t wait for me, and after glaring at me in disappointment, she went on her way regardless.

At first Ai was still in my sight, she walked into a playground, and then I followed. That playground has fishing and throwing. Later, I saw a monkey juggler in a field, the monkey was wearing a small hat without tongue and curl and pedaling around the field, so I stopped. At this point Ai was standing opposite me, and she seemed to be watching with great interest.

I stayed there for a while, and when I looked up to find Ai again, Ai was gone. I was not worried at this point, I thought Ai should still be in the playground, just for a while, and the playground is just a palm-sized place, where can she go?

But I searched the entire playground and did not see Ai again. Later I found out that the north side of the playground was connected to a quiet alley, and Ai liked to go to those quiet alleyways when she had nothing to do. After walking for half a day, I managed to get out of the alley, but there was no sign of Ai.

I stood at the entrance of the alley, which was in front of a crossroads, and on both sides of the crossroads was a wide street with cars and pedestrians coming and going. I looked at both sides of the street, but I couldn’t see Ai from the endless stream of cars and pedestrians, and I wasn’t sure which way she would go, so I went home first.

I waited for Ai at home while playing a game, thinking that Ai would be back soon, just like before. When I used to go out with Ai, she would see me walking unhurriedly on the road, and she would also get angry and leave me behind, and she would come back shortly after I turned back to go home.

I can’t understand why Ai likes to go outside so much, what’s the point of walking alone and silly on the road? I like to stay at home, play games, brush dramas, grow vegetables on the Internet, chat with people in virtual communities, write webisodes when I’m happy …… or do nothing at all, just lying under the covers and drifting off.

But Ai doesn’t seem to like staying at home, she just stays at home for a while and then yells to go out. Every time she wants to go out, her face will show a look of impatience, as if the outside is on fire.

If I do not agree, her little face will be red, small nostrils keep opening and closing, like a fish lacking oxygen, so I have some false heart, had to follow to go. I’m a big man, I don’t want to be forced by her like this every time, so as soon as I go out, I will deliberately drag behind.

When she saw me walking unhurriedly in the back, she would stop and keep urging me. When she pushed, I would pretend to take two steps with her, and then slow down again. And then urged, I will pretend to be unable to look and Ai show their hands, can not walk, really can not walk. You see, you see, I lifted up my jacket, first the round belly light out, and then pat the straw-like legs, I grew so fat, but the legs are so thin, so slender legs are not able to support such a large body.

Ai shook his head helplessly, himself in front of the speedy steps. After walking on a section, often she will turn back again.

Forget it, she said with a frustrated face, let’s go home.

So I happily followed her home.

Every time, it was the same.

One day, Ai asked me out and she saw me walking slowly behind her again, sighed, and then said hatefully, “You’ll lose me sooner or later.

I don’t know if Ai noticed anything, but that was the first time Ai said that, and I didn’t make a sound when I heard it. Later, Ai said it several times, but I didn’t take it too seriously. How can you take the words that come out of one’s mouth in anger seriously?

I was playing a game at home while waiting for Ai. Time passed unnoticed, but I didn’t notice until I was hungry, I looked up from the game I was playing and found that it was already dark. I suddenly remembered Ai. Whenever I was hungry in the past, she would rush off to cook whenever I greeted her, and Ai hadn’t returned yet.

I sat there and thought back, when I went out with Ai was it 2:00 pm, or 3:00 pm? I can’t remember. My memory is not good, in fact, it is not really bad, I will remember the things I am interested in particularly well, not interested in, no matter how to remember can not remember. Ai often teases me, saying that I am selective forgetfulness.

Although I couldn’t remember the exact time I went out with Ai, I vaguely remembered that the sun was still high in the sky when I went back from that little alley, and now it was already dark.

I got up and went to the kitchen to make dinner, so maybe Ai would be back when it was ready. I opened the refrigerator and saw that there were three cucumbers and two sausages in the fridge, the sausages and cucumbers were bought by Ai a few days ago. Ai did all the shopping and cooking work at the supermarket, while other work at home, such as mopping, washing clothes, wiping the table, watering the flowers, etc., was also Ai’s job. I have a large tonnage, dragging a heavy body to do those some inconvenience. Of course, I’m not the only one who doesn’t do any work. I’m the one who does all the work when the electric switch at home is tripped, or when the light bulb is changed.

I decided to make dinner from the pitifully small stock in the fridge. I started by grilling the sausages and cutting and mixing the cucumbers. Then I saw a little more noodles in the kitchen drawer and cooked them.

Then I sat there with hunger and waited for Ai to come back. After waiting for a long time, Ai still didn’t come back, and the noodles in the bowl were about to pile up, so I ate them first.

After eating dinner, I brushed up on the drama for a while, and then I was too sleepy to go to bed. Before I went to bed, I saw Ai’s cell phone and keys on the table in the living room. Ai is always like this, she doesn’t bring anything with her when she goes out. I reminded her of this, but she waved her hand, like a fish wagging its tail. She said that she should go out lightly, and that I would take them with me anyway, but if I took them with me, would they be hers? What if I’m not there anymore? When I tried to convince her again, she had already run away. So I shook my head helplessly.

I left the door open for Ai and went to bed.

When I woke up the next morning, I touched my side and didn’t feel Ai. I ran out to look and the door was still open. I went back to bed and as I was lying in bed, I saw Ai’s clothes hanging in the closet. Ai will definitely come back, I thought.

However, on the third day, Ai still didn’t come back, and I didn’t see her for the next few days.

I couldn’t think about Ai at that time. The fridge was empty, and I was already hungry and dizzy, so I had to go to the supermarket to buy food and make dinner by myself. I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to get a good deal on this. I was having a great time. I suddenly found that Ai’s absence seems to be quite good, no one forced me to go out walking, I can do whatever I want at home.

But that day, I couldn’t help but think of Ai again while playing the game. Ai was lost with me, and I didn’t know what to say if someone approached me to ask about Ai’s whereabouts.

I thought back to the day I went out with Ai again, and I suddenly felt that Ai had been deliberate that day. She had wanted to leave for a long time, and perhaps she had planned for this departure deliberately for a long time. She deliberately left her clothes, cell phone and suitcase here to make her departure look seamless. I carefully recalled the playground that day, the deep, cramped alley leading to the playground, and the crossroads outside the alley, a route that would have made the loss seem logical.

Ai’s coming and going was like the sudden rain in summer. It was a dreary summer afternoon, and I was at home writing a web series when there was a “bang” on the door. I walked out and a girl with a giant trolley case was standing outside, sweat running down her cheeks like a stream. She brought in the sun and heat from outside, and I felt the heat.

My name is Ai. She looked at me with eager and anxious eyes and extended her hand towards me. Her anxious eyes burned me, and I reluctantly gave her my hand, which was sweaty. The whole person was like a fish out of water.

I remembered the invitation to share a room. There was a time when I was looking for someone to share a house with due to financial constraints. In order to find an ideal co-renter, I searched my heart and soul to write that beautiful and sincere advertisement, but after the advertisement was sent out, it was like a mud cow into the sea, and then I forgot about it.

Ai saw the ad and came to the door.

I wanted to refuse her, but when I saw her sweaty face, my heart softened and I let her in.

I’m like a hibernating snake, I like to be cooped up in the house; and Ai is a breeze, she gives two hours of online classes to students at home every morning, and after she’s done with the online classes she’s fine. She is always in a hurry, going to the supermarket in a hurry, coming back in a hurry; after coming back, then cooking and eating in a hurry. She makes herself look like she’s in a war.

I don’t know why she has to be in such a hurry. A person, a lifetime, why live in such a hurry? I remember reading a saying about how many people we have to meet, how many roads we have to travel, and how many things we have to do in our lifetime. But I don’t want to meet so many people, don’t want to walk so many roads, and don’t want to do so many things, I just want to stay at home in peace and quiet.

But Ai also has quiet moments. When night comes, Ai will curl up in the sofa, her eyes blinking, like she is thinking about something. Ai’s eyes were clear, as clear as a lake in the highlands, without any impurities. I was afraid to look into her eyes, which were filled with my bloated body, chicken nest-like hair and panda-like eyes.

Sleepy, Ai will close those long eyelashes eyes, pink mouth slightly open, like a fish for air. Whenever this happens, I will gently go to her side, attached to her ear and call softly, Xiao Ai.

When she heard my call, Ai tried to open her eyes, which had become misty. I sometimes wonder which is the real her, the daytime her or this time. But looking at her sleepy but struggling, a softness rises in my heart, and my voice flutters with the clouds in the sky, “Ai, do you love me?

I do. As soon as she heard this, Ai immediately opened her eyes, which had become dazed, and quickly got up from the sofa. Her sleepiness was gone, and she stared at the pair of slinky eyes, seemingly pondering my words.

Now that Ai is gone, maybe I’ll never see her again. I regret that I deliberately walked slowly like a snail. If I hadn’t walked slowly on purpose that day, maybe she wouldn’t have walked away because she was disappointed.

I want a room with no smell, I don’t want to smell those strange and weird smells. Yoyo looked around the room with a sharp eye and instructed me to say. Her eyes swept over the clothes Ai had left in the cupboard and the toiletries, and she probably saw my embarrassing situation from those things.

I met Yoyo, my new girlfriend, when I ran alone late one night to that bistro to get drunk on money, when she had just separated from her previous boyfriend. Her boyfriend was a crazy ADHD guy who kept walking around, talking and singing loudly, and moving things from one house to another whenever he was at home. He always makes a mess of the house. Yoyo is a house girl, she needs quiet, just like people need air, water and bread. She couldn’t stand his endless nonsense, and after six months of living together, she parted ways with him.

Yoyo had no regrets and went to the bistro to get drunk not to commemorate love, but to celebrate her new life. Yoyo has a big ass and perky breasts. As she sat there crusading against her ex-boyfriend’s childishness and nonsense, her butt kept twisting around in her seat, and the pair of huge breasts swung around like a swing in front of her chest as her body twisted, swinging me a little, and I brought her back from the bar.

I disposed of Ai’s things as Yoyo had instructed me to do, part of the stuff was thrown in the trash, the other part was sent to the recycling office for old things, and the house was painted. I’m not without hesitation when I do this, I’m not a heartless person, but I’m also worried that if Ai comes back and asks me for those things how to do, but the pair of breasts on Yoyo’s chest that sway around like a swing, swayed my heart.

Unlike Ai, Yoyo likes to stay at home, where she spends most of her time sleeping. She goes to bed at about three in the morning, wakes up at about nine in the morning, gets up, washes her face, brushes her teeth, and then eats. After breakfast, she has to catch up on her sleep. After lunch, she goes back to sleep. She kept sleeping like a koala every day. Sometimes I am afraid that she sleeps too much for her health. She retorted that only when she wakes up will she be in the mood to do something else. Although she vowed every day to open an online store, but she never put her dream into action. She wakes up and eats, and after she eats, she starts to brush the drama and play games.

When you brush up on your drama and play games, you like to sit on the couch where Ai used to curl up and snooze. You have a big ass, as long as that ass is sitting on it, the sofa will be smashed down a hole. I sometimes listened to the creaking of the sofa springs with trepidation, worrying that it would one day be unable to withstand YoYo’s buttocks and fall apart. But Yoyo can’t feel it, she sits on it, will let her whole body sink in, as if under her is not a sofa, but a pile of sand. She is an ostrich, to desperately burrow her head under the sand.

When I see the dented couch, I can’t help but think of Ai. I think of her curled up in the sofa, like a sleepy fish floating on the water. As soon as I opened my mouth, she woke up in response and looked at me thoughtfully with big black eyes. I smiled at her and told her it was okay. She returned my smile and lay down again, still awake when she laid down again, her eyes wide open, seemingly thinking about something.

You spend most of the day on the couch playing games and watching TV shows, except for getting up from the couch to go to the kitchen to find something to eat. You have a big appetite, and although you eat a lot every time, you are still hungry every so often.

I am also hungry. As long as you flip the breasts in front of me, I will be hungry.

The other day, Yoyo again hit me in front of passing, she wanted to go to the kitchen to get sauce chicken feet to eat, I pulled her in my arms, some lewdly asked, do you love me?

You immediately answered without hesitation, love ah. The answer is almost the same as Ai’s answer. The girl in front of me was almost mistaken for Ai. But in the next second, Yoyo’s unthinking words were like a ladle of water poured over my head, bringing me back to reality. But I love myself more, she has seen my face changed greatly, still calmly said.

I quickly forgave her. Who in this world is exactly the same as anyone else? Even if the same person, today he or she will be slightly different from yesterday or tomorrow.

During that time, I did not think about Ai deliberately, except for a moment in my midnight dream. In the dream, she looked light, like a fish, or maybe she was a fish at all, blinking in the water and spitting a pink bubble.

I can hardly remember her anymore. I can’t remember her dark eyes, her misty and clear eyes, or the way she knelt on the floor with a rag and wiped the stains carefully and reverently.

All I can remember seems to be the sweat on her face, the anxious look on her face, and the cold words she threw at me, “One day you’ll lose me.

That afternoon, when I stood in front of the window, I suddenly seemed to see Ai, who was drenched in water. It was almost dark by now, so I stared outside for a while and then decisively walked outside. Maybe Ai is still waiting for me at the place we’ve been together, I thought. So I followed the route Ai had taken me that day.

I walked through the streets to the playground where I had stopped to watch the monkeys ride their bikes. It was there that Ai disappeared from my sight. I stood there reliving the day.

I first recalled in my mind the monkey juggler, who was holding a whip as saucy purple as his face that day, waving the whip in his hand while giving instructions to the little monkey as it prepared to perform. He was about 60 to 70 years old, and the years of exposure to the elements had etched a deep mark on his face. The brow and the bridge of the nose like a monopoly furrow, and the simple eyes, all indicate that he is just an honest man to make a living. Then I thought back to the little monkey on the bike, including the tongueless cap worn on the head, the bike under his feet, and even the way he pouted while pedaling.

The monkey juggler and the little monkey on the bike, there should be no problem.

Excluding the monkey juggler and his monkey, I continued to walk forward. Strangely enough, the further I went, the stronger the premonition that I was going to see Ai. As I started to walk down the small alley, my heart pounded as if Ai was nearby, not far from me. So I picked up my pace. The hutong was deep, and the whole place was shrouded in twilight, with the tentacles of the creepers firmly attached to the walls. There was smoke coming out of the chimney, and with it the sound of pots and pans, the fragrance of vegetables, and the laughter of children. All the sounds and smells were diffused and brewed in the hutong, brewed into a thin mass, clinging to people’s bodies and faces, and then burrowed into people’s internal organs.

I surveyed the closed doors, Ai might be inside one of them, maybe she was cooking, maybe she had already made the meal and brought it to the table. In any case, I have felt her breath, warm, soft, wet, with the freshness of seawater, also with the fragrance of night gardenia. I seemed to be close to touching her, and an impulse came over me to knock on that door to see which one she was behind, but apparently it was impossible.

Disappointed, I went home.

After that fruitless search, I completely gave up the illusion that Ai was gone for good.

I stayed at home with Yoyo like a pair of sloths, and every day I did nothing but play games, brush dramas, grow vegetables on the internet, chat with people in virtual communities, write webisodes when I was happy, and occasionally go to the market to buy vegetables. Yoyo does not like to cook, so I take care of the cooking. Yoyo sleeps, plays games and watches her favorite soap operas during the day. Around one in the morning, we go to bed together and make love. Yoyo is wild and quiet. When you hold her at night, your dreams are beautiful and your heart is solid and peaceful.

That afternoon, Yoyo woke up from her nap, got up, washed up, ate lunch, and then sat on the couch to play a game. After playing the game for a while, she suddenly threw the phone to the side, then tore her heart out and shouted, lonely ah! I looked up from the book case in surprise and looked at her with suspicion. I was surprised to look up from the bookcase, and looked at her with suspicion. She said she liked the quiet, but now she is too lonely?

I looked at her at a loss, she suddenly flung the pair of large breasts and came over, describing in graphic detail about her ex-boyfriend, and then began to let me pretend that he said paragraphs, cock dance, and then cosplay those secondary characters she liked.

Perhaps I look a little funny, causing Yoyo to laugh. She laughed, I also followed the laugh, but the laugh is a bit bitter.

One night, I suddenly had a dream. In the dream, I was lying next to my mother, and it seemed that it was not my mother, but a beast dressed in my mother’s clothes and turned into my mother. In any case, my mom was lying beside me. At first it was fine, but then my mom suddenly opened her mouth and stretched out her fangs to tear me. I was scared and thought, “When did my mom get fangs? How could she tear me?

I tried to beg my mom for mercy, but she ignored me. I tried to call for help, but I couldn’t shout, as if my throat and body were trapped by something. I suddenly thought of Ai lying on the other side, I want to wake up Ai, so I pounded her with my heavy elbow as if it was bound by something, and kept pounding, pounding desperately. I don’t know if Ai was asleep or not, but I was so tired and sweaty that I couldn’t wake her up with all my strength.

Later, I woke up in a mixture of exhaustion and fear and found myself placing my hand on my chest.

I took a long breath, and then felt that things were a bit unbelievable. The person lying next to me was obviously Yoyo, so why was it Ai I was dreaming about?

That day, after lunch and a short nap, I suddenly wanted to go out for a walk, so I walked out of the house. At this time, Yoyo was still sleeping.

I went to the river. The river has willows, stretching long branches in the wind, such as a woman gracefully dancing and talking; there are many unknown flowers. Those flowers, there is a dark purple flowers, soft, weak, but looks outstanding, they look like a cluster of fire, along the river bank all the way down like fire, beautiful some dazzling, and intoxicating.

I stood there for a while, fascinated by them, and could not help but follow them for a while before going home.

Later, I would often go to the river to see the small, unknown flowers, to see them bloom until they were in full bloom and still not stopping, no matter what.

One afternoon, I suddenly wondered where they would end up. So I started walking along the river, and I kept walking. I don’t know how far I walked until the river turned at a pass and I couldn’t see the road any further before I stopped, but the flowers were still in full bloom. I stared at them for a long time before heading back home.

When I got home, Yoyo had already left.

I didn’t seem too sad that Yoyo was gone. She left both unexpectedly and unexpectedly.

I don’t know when, but it seems that after Yoyo left, I started to hate playing games, watching dramas, and going to virtual communities to chat with people endlessly.

I liked to walk. At first I only went out in the afternoon, but later, after breakfast, I would also leave home, walk for a while, then go around to the vegetable market, buy vegetables, cut meat, and then go home to cook. Ate lunch, read a book for a while, brewed a cup of tea, in the tea dense vapor, in the long and soft thoughts, a small shadow emerged little by little.

This situation lasted for a long time. That afternoon, the shadow stirred my mind, I finally got up and left the door. In a trance, I unknowingly walked to the playground that I had been to before with Ai. The playground had been expanded to a larger scale, and there were more people, but the hutong to the north was still there.

I walked slowly down the alley. It was a sunny autumn afternoon, the clouds were light and breezy, and the fragrance of osmanthus was wafting in from the depths of the alley, along with the fragrance of osmanthus and the piano music of “Autumn Whispers”. That beautiful melody is like a fine rain, drifting in the alley, drifting on people’s bodies and faces ……

The next thing I knew, I was walking out of that incredibly long and deep hutong. The west side of the hutong is a sidewalk, and on both sides of the sidewalk are some tall aspen trees, so I couldn’t get enough of it, so I walked west again along the sidewalk.

Around the corner was a store with a couple of fish tanks in front of it. I was about to go over and look when something stopped me in my tracks: Ai was sitting behind the counter looking out.

I stood there staring at her, she stared at me blankly for a while, tears suddenly gushed out, then she swam towards me like a fish, fell into my arms, while pounding me desperately with her fists, while crying heartily, crying almost out of breath, I’m here, I’ve been waiting for you here, why don’t you come to me?

I think it must have been Ai’s fine soft hair like fish scales that poked my eyes, my tears rushed out like a broken river, I giggled tearfully, and in the melody of “Autumn Whispers” in the distance, I hugged Ai tightly.

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