How to Overcome Passivity and Take the Initiative in Life

　　A friend sighed to me by chance: “We have known each other for so many years, but you never took the initiative to call me or send me a message. Every time I call you first, it makes me feel as if I have been bothering you all the time.” .” I was not convinced, I flipped through the chat records on the spot, and then realized in surprise: I never really took the initiative.
　　From then on, I began to observe my state of mind deliberately. Every time I wanted to say something to the other party, I always asked myself a lot of questions first—is he free now? Are you sleeping or studying? Will you feel disturbed?
　　Under the heavy questioning and self-doubt, any impulse to take the initiative to say something will eventually become uninterested.
　　This imperceptible bondage is essentially an excess of a person’s self-awareness. Such people often fall into sensitive and embarrassing situations because they care too much about their influence on others and often over-interpret the other’s reactions.
　　Once, a friend talked about running for class president when he was in school.
　　In terms of study, ability, and interpersonal relationship, she felt that she was the right candidate, but when the teacher asked at the class meeting who was interested in running for class leader, she couldn’t speak anyway. Intellectually, she knew that the opportunity was rare, but she couldn’t stop the hesitation in her heart: what would others think of me? What if it is not done well? Will people see it as a joke? Will anyone be unconvinced?
　　After several attempts to encourage students to take the initiative to run for election failed, the teacher simply decided to use academic performance as a rigid indicator for direct appointment. In this way, my friend hesitated for two days before accepting the position I was eager for. Of course, since taking office, she has been doing well.
　　For people who are accustomed to being passive, being “driven to the shelves” is often the most effective way to accomplish something. Because there is no need to take the initiative to fight for it, it can save a lot of unnecessary self-doubt. After getting rid of the internal friction of emotions, the efficiency and performance will naturally improve qualitatively, and things will naturally be done well. Over time, this kind of cycle will solidify into a kind of cognition of this kind of person-as long as I take the initiative to come, I will definitely fail; as long as I passively accept it, I will definitely achieve good results.
　　This is why the more passive a person is, the easier it is to fall into passivity, and the reason why he would rather miss than make a mistake.
　　Once, I accompanied my little niece to a ballet class, and I met such a mother and daughter: the girl came to class for the first time, and whenever she saw other children dancing, she wanted to dance to the music. Naturally, the dance was disorderly, but the girl was very happy, and ran back to her mother bouncing around. My mother said to her: “You didn’t step on the right rhythm just now. Look how well the young lady next to you dances. You should learn more from other children, and don’t dance around by yourself, making people laugh.” In the second half of class
　　, There is obviously a little more timid restraint on the girl. She was trying to do the correct movements, her expression became more and more cautious, and she no longer had the pure joy when she just stepped into the dance classroom.
　　She may become a “right” person, but always being “right” means lack of happiness. She will not dare to participate in an English speech or a singing competition because she is afraid that she is not good enough; she will instinctively keep silent in the crowd because she is worried that others will laugh at her… But in the final analysis,
　　people do not live for “rightness” . It is safe not to take the initiative, but it is happy to take the initiative.