White noise


The boy sat on the edge of the flower bed, one leg drooping disheveled, the other leg propped up, just enough to form a triangular stand with his arm. At the end of this triangular stand is a smartphone, and the boy scratches vigorously at the screen, desperate to stuff himself into it. His self-curling hair out of a lush black forest, so that the head covered under the hair also visually swell up, look quite a bit of intelligence. In fact, he was not very smart, at least his parents could not see any signs of intelligence from his report card. His mother once said worriedly, “When I was your age, I already knew what I was supposed to do, but you seem to have no idea what you’re going to do. His mother wasn’t talking about an essay topic like “My Vision”, she meant it literally – the boy didn’t know what he was going to do, and she arranged for him to do this and that every day, so he made it look like he was obeying his mother. If the mother does not say, he does not do, he is an “obedient” child. But one day this obedient child suddenly not so obedient, his mother arranged for him to do those things, he felt no longer interesting, so decided to leave home.

He left home with his backpack, as usual, but this time he did not go in the direction of school, but in the opposite direction. Going in the opposite direction, he could go to the bus station, the train station, and a little farther, the pier and the airport. If you are an adult, you will feel that these places at least partly hold poetry and faraway places, but the boy thought about it, but turned back, he found a park not far from home, full of petunias planted in the flower bed, a butt to sit down.

The petunias were crowded behind the boy, and the cheap roses were spread over a large area, which looked oddly lively from afar, but up close, the frivolous trumpets lost their value. Of course these are not the boy’s concern, he hooked his head, all his thoughts fell on the phone. The world of handheld games is more pleasant and relaxing to him than the real world. Before his parents found out he was missing, he had a whole day to waste on this boring thing. Boring, yes, the parents thought the game was boring, just a waste of time, and corrupted the child’s eyesight and sense of responsibility. They wouldn’t have bought him a phone if it weren’t for the fact that there are a lot of school things that need to be done on the phone.

The boy is not short anymore, but physically, he is still a child. This can be really discouraging. At his age, he is fighting with himself, looking at everything, even a small acne on his nose can make him so distressed that he does not want to go out. He thinks he’s grown up and doesn’t need as much discipline, but in the eyes of adults, he’s still a child and needs to be controlled. The way they do it is simple and brutal, nothing more than a death stare, a relentless nagging after him, and an angry slap in the face. When his father’s iron fist fell on him in anger, he clearly saw the man shaking with anger, as if he was shattered by some force from inside his body, falling in pieces. He was equally angry and even a little contemptuous inside, no longer feeling the cowering awe he had felt when facing his father as a child. The conjunctiva of his eyes began to fill with blood, and like his father, the veins in his forehead pulsed. The brow was locked into a hard nucleus, which could not be smashed by a hammer of 10,000 pounds. His mother would only cry on the sidelines at this time, as if she had suffered a great deal of grievance. This incompetent woman could neither stop her husband nor control her son.

Such a pandemonium was staged in their home only last night because the boy pulled out his cell phone while doing his homework.

The mother asked him why he was writing his homework on his phone. The boy said with concern that the teacher assigned the homework on the phone. This is a common thing, now the teacher assigns homework always with the times, the mother is also confused which homework to the textbook and exercise book can be, which homework is required to be completed on the phone. Although the mothers also received higher education, but their education at that time was never this complicated, and they are not qualified to comment on the requirements of the current teachers.

In this way, the boy was often very clever in taking advantage of his mother’s “simplistic” thinking. He can switch from one little program to another in less than a second, and his mother can’t just stare at him without a glance. He had most of the chances of getting away with it, but of course there were times when he was caught, and his mother was mostly so angry that her lips turned white and her face was terribly white. She was already anemic, and by now there was no blood on her face, and her thin body was shaking.

He was not afraid of such a mother, after a flash of guilt in his heart, he put away the phone and made an ambush. He knew that his mother would at best scold him with her heart, and those words without nutrition would naturally carry no weight for him, they drifted past like smoke and dreams, and then he did what he had to do. Anyway, there is still a lot of homework to be done. Even if his mother wanted to lecture him, it would have to take a back seat to his school schedule. Now every minute and every second of his waking life was controlled by his studies, and of course his mother knew that if she scolded him for one more minute, he might have to lose ten or twenty minutes of sleep at night. Thus, sleep time, already squeezed to a minimum by heavy schooling, was even less guaranteed.

His father, however, was not such a calculating man. His father was always away from home three or five nights a week, but if he was, he would show his fatherly authority and exercise his fatherly responsibilities. The boy usually avoids his father’s violent edge, but sometimes he has the misfortune to be in the crosshairs. Last night, for example.


Last night was a night of chicken and egg. The woman frowned, her mind in a trance. She punched in at the office, while still dwelling on that big, sticky depression from last night. It’s so bad that having an adolescent child in the house is enough to drive two adults crazy. She and her husband stayed up all night, as if the couple hadn’t fixed the disobedient child, but the two adults had been fixed by the child. As she went into the bedroom and closed the door, she and her husband discussed how to raise the children, and the more she talked, the angrier she became, almost jumping up and pointing his nose at him. Her husband, also on fire, unceremoniously plucked away her fingers and threw back the words she had accused him of, adding a lot of spicy spice to them. The fire was so hot, the flowers were so beautiful, their night was filled with thorny roses.

She couldn’t stand his unkindness to her in return. She is still indignantly thinking, “What did he worry about from the time the child was born to the time he was raised? What has their family ever done? It’s not enough to get a ready-made baby for nothing, but to blame her for not raising the child well. The first time, she was also the pride of heaven, the family’s palms fed out of the princess of the general girl, but now, well, boiled into an old mother, to attend formal occasions even no name, but “Guo Guo mother”. The key is that she is such a middle-aged woman, there are no formal occasions to attend, to participate in the parents’ meetings or sororities related to the children. This may also be the reason why she, who graduated from a prestigious university, feels incredibly depressed when she thinks about it. A family always needs someone willing to spend time at home, otherwise, who cooks? Who will do the laundry? Who will take care of the children?

She pushed the door into the office, the wall clock was just stuck at nine o’clock, the director looked up at the clock, did not look at her.

The director looked up at the clock and did not look at her. Over the years, she probably deserved less attention in the director’s eyes than a cheap clock. When she first came to the unit, she was still a key training target. But is not it, the key university graduate of high talent, and young and beautiful, the leadership to take out to the dinner party are feeling doubly dignified. Male colleagues also followed the rush. Then slowly not, naturally there are younger, more beautiful after the wave over to replace her position. And she, because of self-exile, there are no higher requirements for themselves, after work to run home, afraid to stay in the office a minute more. Even during working hours, there are still half of the mind is attached to the home. Such a lesbian, simply can not train up, but is a hidden housewife. According to the director, “lack of spiritual awareness”, since she came to work, we must take out the standards of women in the workplace to demand themselves, but she does not seek to advance, self-absorbed, really can not get up a bucket.

She felt angry when she thought of this, if her son could fight for his life, it would be fine, but she gave so much to the family, but her husband did not understand, and the children’s performance is not as good as any housewife’s children. The in-laws naturally gossiped, “I might as well quit my job and go home to take care of the kids. However, if you quit your job and go home to bring up your child, you will be able to bring up a child who is guaranteed to be sent to 985 or 211? The in-laws will have even more to say about her at that time.

Now the situation is that the husband’s brother, the man who has shown excellent leadership skills since childhood, to create his own son is an aristocratic international route, last year into the top 30 universities in the world, became the pride of the family. She and her sister-in-law, the woman who is not related to her but has to call her “sister”, as sisters-in-law, even if there is no disagreement, the relationship is more or less delicate. The sister-in-law said, sugar cane no two sweet, you so care about the head but not the butt, the work did not improve, the child also delayed, not worth it. Of course, she could hear the words of concern and ridicule – sister-in-law himself did not study out, but mixed an adult college diploma, but their son is now “the world’s top 30”. I don’t know how this ranking was calculated, she thought sourly in her heart, thinking about it, her nose even began to sour.

She has a pinpoint heart with a bag of tears, a poke, it can turn into rain. “The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers. Last night’s quarrel, her husband said she had nothing to do, originally a matter of education of children, finally became a lesson to her husband, really bullying people too much.

She dragged her heavy steps towards her seat, her listless appearance attracting the attention of the new college girl across the street. “Sister Chen,” the college girl asked her, “what’s wrong with you, early in the morning?”

“No, nothing.” She covered up in a panic, lowering her head and pretending to clean up her desk to hide the dark circles under her eyes. The desk was clean enough; she had just arrived at the office and hadn’t even started working yet, so how could there be anything to clean up? She just took the papers placed in the corner of the table and put them in another corner for nothing.

The director looked up again, this time, seemed to glance at her, and then went back down to read his newspaper.

This old man’s daily work is to read the newspaper! She thought nervously that he was worse than she was, and what was the value of coming in a few minutes earlier than she was in a better position to come to work at a later time? She picked up the overnight tea on the table, full of preoccupation to the tea table to wash, the sound of the water has a comical sense of sound effects, making this inexplicable morning more absurd.

In the unit, her seniority is not short, and thus do not have to bother with such trivial things as fetching water. Since when did she not have to fetch water herself? She doesn’t remember very well, she can’t always remember what happened in the unit. She remembers when her son’s teeth changed, when he got his vaccinations, when he learned to call his mother, when he took his first steps, when it was time to buy new underwear, when he had to go to extracurricular classes ……. She remembers all this clearly. For her, that’s enough.

But others don’t think so. The director definitely feels that she has not done enough, the leadership of the requirements of subordinates, she is far from being able to reach; colleagues, mutual blame and tug of war is a common thing, so who all feel that the other is the one with the problem; her husband also feels that she has not done well enough, her husband is to take a tender and affectionate wife’s standards to ask her, she can only say “I can not do “The children’s teachers are sometimes dissatisfied with her, unlike other children’s mothers, she is not at the beck and call of the teacher, obedient to the teacher; her parents-in-law and mother-in-law’s eyes, she is also not good, neither like the eldest daughter-in-law as eight-sided, nor like her own daughter as sweet and lung …… In short, in addition to her role as a mother The role of the mother, indeed, has not been the same as the heart, but is her most dedicated, the most desperate role, but also so failed. She is really discouraged to the extreme.


The man left the house puffed up, his wife actually did not leave him breakfast!

It is said that couples fight at the end of the bed, they only quarreled a couple of times, and she took it for granted that there was no one like him in the house. He is quite a lot of this breakfast, just a phone call, a friend will come to accompany him to the high-class hotel restaurant to eat morning tea, men and women are not lacking, meat and vegetables are available. But his wife did not leave breakfast for him, what is this? He walked out of the elevator with a puff of anger and snapped the electronic car key in his hand, and a shiny black Audi gave a humble response in the distance.

Shouldn’t a successful man like him, with good assets and good character, enjoy a calm and pleasant family life? He doesn’t smoke, he doesn’t gamble, he drinks in moderation, and crucially, he doesn’t have a mistress or a mistress. He fought outside for this family, not letting her see any storm, only giving her and her son the rainbow. It is the days of the broken capital chain, he did not let her know, a man topped the sky, carrying all the burden. These in front of her, he did not bother to mention, does not mean that she can ignore him in this way. Last night she lectured him like a son, as if that kid sneaking game all the fault of the old son, this is not the world’s biggest joke? This morning, she even held a grudge against him and didn’t leave him a meal, is this ready to continue the family war? He angrily got into the driver’s seat, started the engine, kicked the gas pedal, and left with a bang – the home behind him.

He has not been well received by his family since he was a child – there is a brother above him who is better than him in everything, so he cannot hold his head up, and below him, there is a sister whom the whole family regards as the jewel of the family, and he is caught in the middle, simply a negligible potato. University graduation, a poor unit, of course, than the brother scenery. Brother in the state-owned securities company, the promotion channel than he is much smoother, not a few years has been a major account manager. And his unit, although it is a drought and flood, but to seniority, year after year to boil, think of nothing interesting, why not come out to start their own business.

This is not an easy thing, so many years, in the wind and rain, there are gains and losses. Compared to his brother, still so much worse. His brother, who is the head of the securities company, has long been a department, and his son’s future is well arranged. This became the face of their old Zheng family. In the eyes of the old man and woman, it probably doesn’t matter if he is there or not, as long as his brother is there, the old Zheng family can be full of glory, simply golden.

The only thing he felt better than his brother was that he had married an elegant and intellectual wife. When he first brought her home, his brother froze for a moment because she made his sister-in-law ashamed of herself. Her sister, who was in high school, also chattered around her and worshipped her as a mentor of intellectual women – in fact, she was only a few years ahead of college, but with her own intelligence, she showed a wisdom not quite in keeping with her age. He was really happy for a while, and ate that meal with great enthusiasm, making himself the focus of the family’s attention for the first time at a family dinner. Afterwards, she scolded him for putting on too much of a show, and he couldn’t help himself, throwing his arms around her and shouting in the empty streets at night, “Wife, I love you!” She was still his girlfriend at the time, with the same shy tenderness as a water lily, and her jade fingers nudged his forehead and said, “Who’s your wife?” He hugged her tighter and blew his lips against her ear, “Wife, you can’t get away.”

He shook his head and smiled to himself, forgetting his empty stomach for the moment, and his mind was immediately filled with a hectic work schedule. With one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on his lips, he thought of something and took a sharp puff, flicking the butt out of the window. At home, he doesn’t smoke. He has little dependence on nicotine and doesn’t think much of it. Instead, there were cigarettes in the car, one for business and the other for occasional psychological needs. There was an important meeting in the morning, concerning the whole second half of the business development, the mall was like a battlefield, he could not be defeated before he was on the field.

The cigarette butt that was thrown out of the car window, after completing a beautiful arcing movement, fell disheveled onto the roadside lawn that was manicured like a prosthetic. A sign was inserted at the greenery: Green grass, why not step on it? The early summer sunlight sprayed abundantly on the neat turquoise, and the little bit of ash-stained snow white stood out.


Looked up at the wall clock, five minutes short of ten o’clock. She stood up and walked towards the door. She turned left out of the door to the toilet and right to the door of the unit on this floor, and as usual, she went left first, into the bathroom.

The clatter of the toilet flushing sounded in her ears, the noise was abrupt, as if someone had pulled the floodgate behind her, and then a continuous stereo sound surrounded her. She listened in awe for a while, until the sound of the rushing water gradually lowered and finally silent, then she stood in front of the sink mirror, turned on the faucet, washed her hands, and slightly tidied up her appearance.

Maybe it’s because she signed up for a platform’s anchor course a month ago, she’s especially sensitive to sudden noises. This is a wonderful side effect. Her intention was to learn the skills of acting and do some side work in her spare time. Her time, to put it mildly, is really worthless, the eight hours she spends in the office during the day, basically producing nothing of value, which is the nature of the office, the agency, that’s how it is. She is busier after work than in the unit, but it is only busy, not to talk about any value. After dinner, her son went to study, she was free, she was a little bored.

Her husband is mostly not at home, she can hardly complain about anything, after all, a family must have a sociological division of labor, he is outside those difficulties, he does not say, she can more or less appreciate. At this time, she looked at the small back in front of the desk, in the light of the book or meditation, vaguely, the heart will be some for the years of moving. Although the feeling is very vague, but enough to support a person in the most difficult time to go on. She wanted to do something to show her children and her husband that she was not a worthless person, not just going to a dreary office for eight hours a day and then coming back to do something simple and trivial that a nanny could do.

By chance, while she was doing her homework with her children on one of the countless quiet nights, she was swiping her cell phone and thinking about her thoughts when she suddenly saw a very provocative message pushing: “Voice for cash, so you can climb the Himalaya of life and find the “slash” value of leading the circle of life!

She clicked in, as if she had found another mine of life.

She first paid one yuan with WeChat and purchased the three-day boot camp course. The bigwigs are now speaking with their own tongues, and there are new audiobook anchors who teach live as seniors, telling their inspirational stories about their gorgeous transformation from “white” to “white”, so that the later “white” people are convinced that such a wonderful transformation will happen to them too. She was inspired by the atmosphere. She was inexplicably inspired by this enthusiastic atmosphere and soon had the desire to continue learning.

Next she paid several thousand dollars for the advanced course, and bit the bullet and bought tens of thousands of dollars of equipment. These initial investments were necessary, and she was confident that her teacher’s recommendation was correct. Of course, for those who have a wait-and-see attitude, perhaps not necessary, “they will certainly not go very far on this road,” said the teacher, all the “try” is a waste of time. You try and see, people have already left you a few blocks behind.

She is not an ambitious person, “three million a month” is not so attractive to her. She just to find a little value, in the muddle of eight hours outside, in the dead of night, the day’s chores settled, she looked at the child’s back under the lamp, guard the empty room, not so – was hit by the feeling of loneliness across the void.

She vaguely knows that this is a windy industry, “standing in the wind, pigs can fly”, she is always a little stronger than pigs. In the information age, people are flooded with visual information, after the eyes can not stand the chaos of five colors, and can not be separated from the information, so there is a sound industry, which is also the objective basis for the realization of sound. Theoretically, anyone with a sound condition can “sit at home and make money”. Moreover, the teacher took great pains to teach them that it doesn’t matter if their voice is not good, their voice can be trained, and if you come to my class, I can change your voice condition.

She still has some confidence in her voice. Before graduating from college, she got her Mandarin Level 2A certificate in order to get a teaching certificate and an additional employment channel. Although she did not become a teacher later, and did not engage in a voice related profession, but speak well, has been her advantage. Her teacher also said she was a talent, and her audio assignments were even used as models for exchange in the WeChat circle of her contemporaries, which was a great incentive for her – after she left school, there was no such a strong learning atmosphere, and now more than 100 people gathered in the north and south of the country had the same learning goal. The feeling of forgetting to eat and sleep. It’s not easy for people to reach middle age. She studied for a month, grinding homework every day, sometimes her son went to bed and she was still awake. When her husband came back and saw her like this, he was a bit surprised but did not interfere, only reminding her to beware of being “brainwashed”. She did not think so, thinking that she had the original intention, and not to make money, only those who are bent on making money by sound will be “brainwashed”, because they originally have no brain.

Learning later on was a bit of a bewildering experience, and everything sounded like “bottom noise”. This makes her very dissatisfied with her recording environment, how can not record flawless good work. For example, the sound of the toilet flush just now was very harsh to her ears, which was unbelievable in the past, as she obviously lived with the toilet flush and similar noises every day. She shook the water droplets off her hands, swept a lock of hair from her forehead behind her ear, and glanced at herself in the mirror. The middle-aged woman with the blurred face would never cause any half-hearted commotion, whether she appeared in the crowd or disappeared. The idea of “wowing the crowd with your voice” was born out of the boredom of looking in the mirror so many times.

She turned around and left the bathroom and walked down the hallway to the other end, passing by the office but not going in, instead going straight out the door of the unit and lighting up the elevator.

It was ten o’clock, the time she had to go to the nearby supermarket to buy groceries.


The boy was a little bored, and he was sitting on the edge of the flower bed with his legs crossed. He was tired of playing that game, which he had loved before last night, but now he felt it tasted like wax. If he had known that, he should not have secretly played the game without his mother’s knowledge when he was doing his homework last night. When she snatched the phone from his hand, it was almost as if she had lost all the blood in her body, too pale to supply a complete sentence. “You, you, you ……” her mother shivered her whitening lips, her face so white it was ghostly blue. She had been learning how to practice qi all this time, getting up early in the morning to hold her waist like a boxing practice on the balcony hi hi ha ha, but it was strange, once she was angry, in turn, she was even weaker than before, almost as if she was out of breath. He did not dare to look at his mother, which is also the top of the strange thing, he was not so afraid of his father, but a little afraid of his mother.

Mother does not hit him, scold him, and not as fierce and domineering force as his father, but he just can not hold his head up. Sometimes he would rather his mother beat him up, but she is angry instead of talking, like to close the door to sulk. That strange atmosphere of “gas” through the wall made him feel inexplicably afraid: was he going to lose her?

The good thing is that his mother always opens the door at the end and says “eat” or “go to bed”!

This time, he made his mother angry again, and she pointed at him and said shiveringly, “You, you, you …… can’t control yourself even if you don’t stare at her?” He bowed his head and did not say anything, let his mother say anything without speaking, as if, when she gave birth to him, cast a spell to make him a mute man.

This is also the most angry mother, what she said he did not respond, the more he did not respond the more angry she became, the whole thin and bloodless body could not help but shake violently, like a white paper in a windstorm. At this time, my father suddenly opened the door from the outside, and with the door wide open, a powerful air current like a beast swooped in and swept my mother up, and she fell to the ground with a thud.

Once the father came home, the situation was different again. The father saw that he had actually made his mother fall to the ground, and immediately became furious. He knew he couldn’t avoid it, so he continued to play deaf and silent and waited for the storm to sweep in. The wind must have picked up outside the house, otherwise there would not have been such a strong wind through the door when my father opened it. The windows that were not closed tightly let in some of the wind and rain, and soon wet a small piece of the floor. The mother rubbed her dizzy head and climbed up to close the window. His dark eyes followed his mother, fearing that she would be swept away again after being tossed to the ground by the evil wind.

When his father’s slap came up, he met it instead of dodging it. This made the father’s palm suffered a small reaction force, for a long time are vaguely painful. The mother did not stop the father, probably because she thought it would be good for him to be taught a lesson. It was not until my father was panting and crying that my mother finally jumped in and said, “All right, all right. The father said, “He just needs to be beaten up, he was spoiled from childhood!” This was unacceptable to the mother. “Who are you calling spoiled?” She seriously questioned the father, who froze for a moment. “I …… I mean, boys, which one is not beaten out?” The father gave himself a complement, “You are too good to him, only to let him not know.”

Later, on the question of whether he knew or did not know good and bad, the father and mother flipped and fought for a long time. He just cried and listened, crying and listening as he did so. Then he stopped crying, but they were still arguing. It was long after bedtime, and the sound of their arguments made him drowsy. Dazed, he was head heavy to cross himself over, those arguments can not be heard, like the wind, whistling past ……

The wind blew all night.

When he woke up in the morning, the wind had stopped. He put on his clothes, took a big bite of his mother’s breakfast, and then, with his school bag on his back, said goodbye to his mother. At that time he didn’t think twice about whether he was going to skip school and go play games for a day. When he was in fifth grade, a classmate suddenly disappeared one morning when he was supposed to be at school. The teacher and parents went looking for him and searched for the whole day. He later learned that the classmate had run away from home, but still didn’t get out of the city because of a lack of money. Now he is in his second year of middle school, much more mature and stable than a fifth-grade child, so in the morning he first sent a message to his teacher, saying he had diarrhea and had to take a break. He used his mother’s phone, who was busy in the kitchen making a ham and omelette at the time. After that he cleared his message log, ate the breakfast his mother made, put on his school bag and said goodbye to his mother. He left the house relaxed and bewildered, the phone in his pocket seemingly clanging and playing a rousing soundtrack, sending him into a survival game of single player combat.


The morning talks did not go too well. He was prepared for it and tried to be as open and relaxed as possible, so he could move in and out. The other party is a government official, and he is a businessman. Between government and business, the relationship is very delicate. He owed a cigarette for the other side, and put up the cigarette case in his hand, gently nodding at the desktop, as if in thought, but also as if in a hint. The other party lifted his eyelids and coughed dryly: “Old Zheng, let me think about it again. You know, you can’t eat hot tofu in a hurry.” He immediately put down the cigarette case, a show of hands, make an innocent look, as if for the sake of the other side said: “I am worried about you, although a little bit of safety, but some things, you know, one step slow, step slow, then a cat or a dog stole your credit, but the snow cream on the butt.” The other side puffed up a laugh, the atmosphere is active, and then the official who was at first deliberately creating a sense of distance, almost head to head with him, whispering and pleasantly muttered: “This is also reasonable, it is originally a matter of grease and powder, have to work on the face.”

The two of them agreed that it was a done deal. He came out of the clean, open and solemn building, unconsciously dusting off his body, as if he had just come out of a dusty construction site. Even so, his suit-clad body was still gray and taut.

Get in the car, he just completely relaxed himself. The light sound of music flowing from the car stereo put him in a trance. His wife had studied piano for a while, and when we first met, she played this piece for him. What was the name of it? He desperately searched his memory, but he could not remember. It was the most torturous situation to remember and not remember, and it would be better to forget it completely. He would love to remember about his wife, but he was so busy that he once forgot his wedding anniversary. The good thing is that his wife did not show any obvious displeasure, but perhaps he ignored her displeasure, she remembered it one by one, and when they quarreled, such as last night, they would pick out all the pieces and turn them into evidence of his irresponsibility.

Of course he can’t admit that this is a sin to be added. The wife has a problem with the basis of her argument, she first decided that he was irresponsible, so it led him to forget and ignore. In fact, he was so responsible that he carried all the big things on his shoulders, so how could he have the time and energy to care about the little things? But his wife thought otherwise, and she questioned him as if she had a winning hand: “What are the big things you’re talking about? What do you think is the most important thing for a family? Don’t think that the family depends on you. I can still raise my children without you!” She made it sound like he had nothing to do with the family, that he was an outsider, that all his hard work outside, even his struggle to kill, was a joke.

He and she are not on the same page when it comes to talking and doing things. For the matter of children stealing mobile games, the couple had a hard fight, which is really inexplicable. He originally felt sorry for her, came home and saw her being “rebellious son” angry like that, gave the child two slaps on the face, as a father to teach the boy, so that he knows the mother is not easy. She clearly listened to it, he said to the child painfully: “You cheat who is not good, but also cheat on your mother? You can cheat anyone in this world, but not your mother! Your mother has given so much for you, do you still have a conscience?”

When he said this, his wife was silently weeping and his son was also crying. He thought that his “education” had worked wonders. But his wife suddenly stood up from the sofa and unexpectedly yelled at him, “Can you solve the problem by beating the child?” He was stunned: “If you don’t hit him now, when will you hit him? I don’t care what his studies are like, it’s just not a good idea to have character problems.” The wife was furious and jumped in front of him like a protective mother, saying, “My son’s character is not a problem!”


It was usually time for school to end, and the boy walked down the street. There was a lot of commotion in front of an elementary school down the road, packed with students getting out of school and parents picking them up. He watched from the corner for a while, except for children, the majority of elderly people, probably grandparents or grandparents. When he was in elementary school, his mother always picked him up. Grandparents were very far away and they were not in good health. He didn’t wonder why it wasn’t his father or grandparents who picked him up. He always thought that as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning or left school, it should be his mother he saw. Once his father came to pick him up for the first time, he froze, looked behind him, and the first thing he said was, “Where’s my mom?”

Last night his father’s words were right; he should not have lied to his mother. In this world, the last person he should cheat is his mother. However, he just couldn’t help himself. If he could control his own mind and hands and feet, he would love to be an “obedient child”. Or, simply let his mother control his mind and hands and feet, as if he had never grown up.

With this thought, he walked mechanically with his arms swinging to the street garden as if he was really being controlled. There were some oleanders in the garden, red clusters and white clusters, crowded with a strong smell. I can not say whether it is fragrant or smelly, anyway, with a faint bitterness. He knew they were poisonous, and thus wondered why the city had planted such poisonous plants all over the street.

There was an irregularly shaped stone at his feet, and he kicked it, and the little stone “swished” into the trunk of a poplar tree and bounced back. He kicked it again and repeated this boring game. His enthusiasm made an old lady next to him smile benevolently. She smiled and said to the other old lady, “Children are children, they can have fun with anything.” The two old ladies commented on him, guessing how old he was and which school he went to nearby. He rushed away, afraid that they would talk about his origins.

He did not go home at noon, and his school was far from home, so his mother contacted the “small dining room” for him. Since he had already paid, he decided to go and eat his share of lunch. The food there was not much to his liking, but his mother was interested in cleanliness, hygiene and balanced nutrition. He was not particular about food and drink, and if his mother said it was good, then it was good. The sun hung over the back of his head, casting a short, thick shadow, and he hopped on it, ready to waste the whole day. Such a thrill pulsed through his young body, aimless, yet purposeful.

There seemed to be a lot of schools on this road, each with a wide mouth that swallowed a steady stream of children with backpacks. He used to be one of the children swallowed up in this way, but now he can walk past as openly as the adults passing by, with a sidelong glance or not bothering to look at all.

He walked from the entrance of an elementary school to the entrance of a high school, counting a total of 1,876 steps, and there was an inexplicable sense of ritual, as if today was the day he grew up. There were actually so many schools on this road, each one filled with countless kids like him. Were they all going through the same spurting and depressing growth as he was, he thought calmly, almost bored?

Before last night, he had had a glimmer of sympathy for his own playful nature. Using his study time to play games seemed to be his only option – with all the various in-class and extra-curricular cramming assignments added together, always until 11 or 12 at night, where did he have time to play? It wasn’t as if his mother said, “Get what you should do done early so you can do what you like,” and there was no such fairy tale when he entered high school. Even when he was in elementary school, he rarely had time to do what he liked after his senior year, and his mother always dragged him between various extracurricular classes. At that time is for the primary school, now of course is for the examination, the future there are high school exams, he can not see far away from the end of what in the end, the mountains and waters far away outside as if there are wind and clouds, so he will not go to see. Mo Ru has some time to play for a while is a while, this is visible, touching the happiness of ah.

When he played, he did not think so much, did not want to cheat on his mother, and did not think about what impact it would have on his “character”. What effect could it have? He was surprised by his father’s words, as if his whole life would collapse if he played for a little while. If a little bit of homework could have such a miraculous effect, his whole life would be changed forever, and he would like to do his homework well. However, he wrote homework every day, night and day, year after year, and they still told him, “You have to keep writing, keep writing, don’t let up for a moment. When he got anxious, he said to himself, “Forget it, they don’t know anyway.

He played the game for a while when they weren’t looking, which felt pretty good at the time, and then embarrassed when it was revealed. He had seen his mother’s self-inflicted aggression, and he did have some heartburn when he made her angry like that, but the situation changed again when his father stepped in. He didn’t expect his mother to make common cause with him, and with tears in her eyes she jumped to her father, saying that he was missing his responsibility. The father disagreed with the result and had to argue with the mother, who then argued with him angrily, pulling from a long history of events and using every little thing to prove the father’s big mistake. The next thing you know, he seems to have been completely thrown out of the lively war by his father and mother, and became an outsider, only to watch in boredom as they opened and closed their mouths, gasping for air, like two fish out of water.

Now he walks on the road, past a cavernous store, past a strange person, past a busy car, and feels like an outsider still watching from the wall. The world is in a constant flow, not a moment of silence, everyone is so busy, busy chasing each other with their own shadow, from different angles to prove the relationship between the shadow and the self, not caring at all what others think.


There was still a lot of food left in the lunch box, but she had no appetite. The cooks in the cafeteria at the workplace were probably as tired as she was of the mechanical and meaningless work they were doing day after day. She ate some tiredness from the weak fried cabbage, and a bunch of grease from the oily stir-fried meat. The soup, as usual, was bland and tasteless, with a thin egg floating in the translucent gelatin of the thickened pot, and a spoonful of it, but definitely not. The frustration of not getting anything did not deter the scooper, but made her more persistent in dealing with the small egg flower. She felt that everyone around her was ridiculous, but she was the only one who was pathetic.

After eating, you can squint in the office for a while, or slip out for a walk or shopping. The former is suitable for semi-retired people with low energy like the director; some young and energetic people, such as new college students, and female colleagues who have to make an appointment to go to the bathroom, will choose the latter. She initially also went shopping with them, a few times down to find it meaningless, the same shopping malls, the same road, even the salesman because they are old faces and do not bother to take care of them. She wanted to go back to the office, but the only long sofa had been occupied by the director, and the sofa also came from the sound of snoring like no one else. Sometimes she thought that one was comfortable living to the age of no one, and she still had a long way to go.

She took the text of the play she hadn’t had time to record last night because of the fight in her hands and quietly headed for a small wooded area behind her flat. There were no headphones or microphones, but that didn’t stop her from “recreating” the text in her head. Her teacher always emphasized to them that they should pay attention to the text and “act” it out like an actor, not just “broadcast” it. She felt that acting was like splitting a whole new personality out of the body, the so-called theatrical possession, or a kind of professionalism. She thought of the leaders of the unit in the General Assembly and small meetings to talk about the word “love and dedication”, the firm gaze and determined tone, involuntarily smiled. It seems that the leaders are very talented, they certainly have not studied acting, but they know what is “acting”, what is “broadcasting”.

Last night’s storm destroyed a lot of green and yellow leaves, she stepped on the thick leaves on the path, the soles of her feet came to a wet grass fragrance. The text is a love scene, she said the word “love” feel rusty, as if there is a green date in the throat, the mouth can not fully open. Her love affair with her husband had passed many years ago, it was just a stage of life. Now, they rarely have anything in common, except for the children, there seems to be nothing to talk about, but talking about the children can slip into a dangerous situation, and it is easy to get unpleasant. She is not so stupid as to wonder if her husband doesn’t love her anymore. The tendency is that “love” is “doing” out, not “talking” out. Not to talk, because that is too time-consuming, middle-aged people can not afford to spend, and again that does not solve any practical problems. All couples are more pragmatic than lovers, these are the bottom noise of life.

She sat down on a rock, listened for a while to the chirping birds in the forest, the soundtrack in her mind grew, and opened the playbill in her lap. There is a tender and affectionate woman tiller out of her body, long hair, smiling, looking back will cast a shy eye, in the heart of the man ripples and exuberant hormones. The woman is walking in the forest, a lotus flower step by step, a party charming, in addition to thousands of style, there are thousands of pride. The style and pride of the man, such as wild thoughts, thought of the death.

She thought of herself and her husband when she was in love. At that time, he would never say a word to her out loud. Perhaps it was because the two were too close together at that time, and everything was whispered, so there was no need to speak out loud. Not anymore, she often has to yell when she talks to him in order for the sound waves to reach each other’s eardrums. Even then, it didn’t help that the sound went in through the ear canal and came out through the other ear canal, like playing a game of crossover out of thin air. If she complains to him, he calls her greedy and says that his sister-in-law never talks to his brother about these useless things. The woman is so shrewd, of course, she will not say this to her powerful husband – sister-in-law knows that there are a lot of women lining up outside, and she will be able to do her rightful mother in peace without saying anything.

The couple looked at their sister-in-law with sympathy and a touch of contempt. But who can say it, sister-in-law look at the couple, do not have a complex composition of sympathy and despise? The sister-in-law has always believed that the older brother is the one who is in charge of the family, and he is supporting the younger brother, so that he does not capsize his boat in the sea of big waves; as for the noble sister-in-law, she has an arrogant but not really proud capital, but more than the average housewife is a part-time income; their son is even more pathetic, not to mention intelligent, simply even half of the good old Zheng family The future direction of education reform is said to be fifty percent of the children can not go to high school, that child’s performance is hanging on that critical point wobbly, and then work hard are faltering look …… she fiercely closed the script in her hand, closed her eyes and shook her head, like a fictional life mercilessly deceived.


In the afternoon, the boy put on his school bag again and came out of the “little table” as if he was going to school. In reality, he turned the corner and left the school behind again. After crossing from Jinjiang Road, he could soon see a river wider than the road behind the street trees on the ring road. It was an artificial river, said to be a moat dug by the people of the city hundreds of years ago when the city was still a city. Decades ago when the waterway was still in full swing, the river reached the sea, but now no one takes the boat anymore, the old pier was knocked down and rebuilt, resulting in the pier culture memorial park. The word “memorial”, how to listen to the flavor of a long time ago, can not help but make people sad. The boy walked over, ready to break the afternoon there bit by bit, throwing it into the river, along with the water flow away. The adults always say “like water years”, he does not yet have that experience, and because there is too much time, can not help but want to squander it.

He put his hands in his trouser pockets, kicking and stomping towards the river. Along the way are planted daylilies, large orange-red buds jumping in the dark green grass, like fiery maidens trying to leap out of the wrapping of their skirts, eager to reveal their youthful bodies. The beauty of such a flashy display is so dangerous that the garden management office had to put up a sign that it was poisonous and forbidden to dig. However, this did not stop some old men and women who love flowers from bowing into the bush with a small shovel. The boy saw an old woman sweating in the flowers, like a child busy catching up on homework, with a comical seriousness. He skimmed his lips and continued on his way.

A row of dense maidenhair over the boy’s head full of small, rice-like white flowers, the fragrance, if any, into the nostrils, so he could not help but yawn. Everything beautiful tends to make him sleep heavily, as if walking through the dream world, the beauty is real. He woke up every day and his mother would tell him to catch up on his morning reading. His breakfast time always smelled of burnt English words. Throughout the morning, he was groggy, his morning occupied by four main classes seemed bleak and aggravating, and in the afternoon, he began to feel anxious about the homework he could never finish. Sometimes he would write his homework until one or two o’clock in the morning, his eyelids were like glue and he couldn’t open them, so he wrote his homework with his eyes closed, copying a text into a novel and converting pressure units into capacitance units. He felt that twenty-four hours a day was too long, long like a waxed twine, strangling a choking chasm in his neck.

Now, he finally had the opportunity to pull the twisted twine around his neck and clutch it in his hand.

He pulled a cut, and another cut, and another cut, and both hands were frantic and desperately tossed backwards, fiercely balled up in his hands into a fat ball, raised his hand, “whoosh” thrown into the river.

The river swirled and swallowed the foreign object with a “gulp”, then whimpered and flowed away. He took a long breath and sat down on the riverbank, staring vacantly at the river. He dropped something like that, as if soaked in his mother’s tears, and his father’s fiery temper had forged it. It was wrapped around his neck like a spirit, day and night, and even in his sleep, it made him cramp with fear. But when he dropped it, he felt disoriented and didn’t know where to go all of a sudden.

At this time a few young people came along the riverbank, not older than the boy’s appearance of a few years. They dressed themselves in a very enchanting way, covered with shiny metal pieces and metal rings, some of which were pierced into the flesh with greenish patterns, looking hideous and strange. They staggered closer to the boy, with an excited look on their faces of having found a good prey.


When they came out of the hotel, a few of them were still hooked up, but when they reached the parking lot, the brotherly feeling created by the dinner party immediately dissipated. The man got a substitute driver, he had a few drinks, not many, but no longer fit to drive. He volunteered to sit in the back seat, just time to properly digest the information gained from the drinking table.

It’s just a couple of business partners who are free to meet up and exchange ideas. They have taken care of each other’s business, and sometimes they are red in the face for the sake of business, but they are always close, talk to each other, and under the shrewd calculations can also be padded with a thin layer of affection. One told him during the meeting: “Your brother may be in trouble. This inspection is more powerful than the last time, in addition to the above greetings, always to find out something.” This kind of news sounded a bit familiar, and he didn’t take it too seriously. He and his brother’s feelings are not deep, but brothers do not look forward to the bad luck of their brothers.

When he came out to work alone, his brother did not help him much from the spiritual to material. According to his brother, “you think well, the road to go on their own, what others say is wrong”, as if more than one word of encouragement, have pulled down his Zheng family’s boss status. Later, when it comes to things that need to be accommodated, he rarely seeks his brother’s presence, but brother and sister-in-law have determined that in fact he is out doing things under their banner. He does not deny that the other side more or less know his brother this relationship. But what is that? The latter relationship always has to be maintained and explored by himself to get things done. In the middle, there is no relationship with his brother, but he can’t run to his brother and sister-in-law for this to make a solemn declaration: I am self-supporting.

Brother is indeed a capable leader, operating in that position for many years, for public and private have earned a lot. This kind of thing is not to pick through, are you good I good, once a serious thorough investigation, to say that there is no a little shit on the ass, who believe it out. He was a little worried for his brother up, after all, a milk, when he was a child, his brother got an apple to share half to him. That is the most innocent era, they have nothing, but do not share each other, but to have a lot of time, but do not want to share even a little bit of happiness and sorrow. No wonder the last time he came home, he saw that his brother’s face was not very good, his father casually asked a few questions, and his brother left the table early impatiently, causing unpleasantness to the whole family.

He was still wondering if his brother had been unable to sleep at night recently, when the cell phone held in his palm suddenly rang loudly.

“Brother?” He was amazed at their heart-to-heart, and his hand trembled a little when he answered the phone.

“Let’s meet this afternoon.” Brother’s voice had aged a few years and seemed very tired.


The woman’s steps are broken and fast, stepping on the drum like a thud, bringing out a resounding rhythm. She always catches up with life in this way, as if she can’t get through the day without catching up. The director stopped her at the end of the shift, saying that there was a document that she needed urgently, and she couldn’t push it away, so she had to work while slandering. Such things are also common, idle during the day, regardless of whether you are drinking tea and reading the newspaper or nail polish knitting sweater, when the end of the day suddenly explain a what, you have to be anxious to work out, as if a day late on the delay of national events. Where did you go? People complaining about the work, but the top has no obligation to explain, the turn to the next time also so. The top is concerned about the big picture, regardless of whether you get home an hour late to delay cooking for the children or miss a long-awaited concert. The woman trotted along, thinking furtively, fortunately, when the morning to send home the vegetables by hand to choose clean. The unit is just a few steps away from home, but she was tired and panting.

Just now her husband called her and said that he would not come back for dinner tonight. She did not care, anyway, he did not come back for dinner most of the time. She is still holding her breath in her chest, not to come back just right, the words are cold, through the phone can feel the chill. The husband paused, sighed and said, “My brother had an accident, I am now at my parents’ place.” She froze for a moment and asked what happened. The husband said that he and his brother had arranged to meet in the afternoon, but when the time came, he did not see his brother’s shadow, and no one answered the phone. Then later, his sister-in-law called him in tears, saying that the prosecutor’s office had come to the house to go through it.

“People were taken away?” She just remembered that it must be a mess at her in-laws’ place, with her mother-in-law, sister-in-law and sister-in-law all wiping their tears, and her elderly father-in-law collapsing on the bed with his heart covered, and the whole family pointing at her husband.

“Yes, taken straight from the office.” The husband sipped his teeth, sucking and sucking as if he had a toothache, “Counting the time, it was less than twenty minutes after the phone call to me.”

“Then he knew something was going to happen to him.”

“Probably already know, these days are waiting for it.”

“I didn’t hear you say that.”

“He didn’t tell me either.”

“Are you all right?”

“What can happen to me?”

“That’s good.”

The last two sentences were vague, but the tacit understanding between husband and wife was evident at this time. Putting down the phone, she felt as if she had avoided a disaster, thinking that last night was behind her and that she would have to live with her husband when he returned.

When she was frying, her mind was still a bit confused, a drop of hot oil flew out of the pan and splashed on her left arm, she hurriedly put her arm into the sink and unscrewed the faucet to rinse the hot pain. The sound of the crashing water accompanied by the nourishing hot frying pan added to an overwhelming sense of dislocation.

She turned down the stove fire and stir-fried a few more times, and the greens that had been sticking out on the edge of the pot shrank into the bottom of the pot, turning the new turquoise green into an old green, a color that had been tempered. When the vegetables were ready and brought to the table, she was stunned for a moment and realized that it was past the time for school. Her son had not yet entered the house, so she went to the windowsill and glanced downstairs. In the fading twilight, there are three or two figures in the neighborhood green belt and fitness equipment there chess-like points a few places. The son is obviously not among them.

In the past, there were also such cases, the teacher delayed the class, the class scheduled to six o’clock to seven o’clock before school. Parents can not complain, the teacher is also sacrificing their time off to help you teach your children, should not be ungrateful, but to bow to thank. She picked up the phone and put it down, worrying if it would disrupt the class at this time.

After another half hour, her son was still out of reach, and she couldn’t resist. She thought her son might be on the bus, and she couldn’t hear the ringing because of the noise around. There were two or three stops from home to school, and sometimes her son took the bus and sometimes walked. She was anxious, so she took her keys and cell phone and went out to meet her son. She kept looking and dialing the phone, but the beeping sound changed to “The number you have dialed is switched off”. When I asked the students in the class group, they all said that school had ended early. Her heart was in her hands all of a sudden.


When his wife’s phone call came, he was smoking one cigarette after another with his father, head down. He didn’t have any cigarettes in his pocket, so his father took out a whole unopened soft China from the closet and threw it on the coffee table, and father and son began to swallow the smoke with their heads down. The family’s closet is stuffed with good cigarettes and good wine, all from the eldest son’s tribute. Now the old man smoked the first son’s filial cigarettes, his voice was a bit bleak. “Destiny should have this disaster.” The old man swallowed a mouthful of smoke, said a sentence, the younger son listened to the ears not to make a sound. He is a little fidgety, this has nothing to do with him, but now it seems to fall on him.

The ashtray has been filled with cigarette butts, sister-in-law’s crying has not stopped, as if crying all the time can make the family pay more attention to the matter of the brother was taken away. The sister said sister-in-law you take a break, the cry is lower, but still constant, choking people feel ready to gas knot.

He pulled the new cigarette butt out of his mouth, fiercely pressed in the ashtray, mute voice said: “Sister-in-law, I am trying to figure out how to do it. Just called the public prosecution system friends you also heard, said to go through the procedure, not in a hurry.” Sister-in-law tears like rolled pearls, speak with a pun: “Outside people are not anxious, inside the anxious ah. In the end, you are the real brothers, your brother is not anxious for him, those grandsons care whether your brother is anxious or not!” Mother also added fire in the side, saying how much money we need, we can’t sit at home and wait. My sister is used to sitting on the sidelines since she was a child, the family where things happen, there is no reason for the girl to take the lead, and now married, back to the mother’s family is a guest in general, so also point to the brother to get ideas. Only my father was sensible enough to contribute another fresh cigarette butt to the ashtray and gently reprimanded, “It’s late at night, people are just like us, don’t eat or sleep?” Only then did his mother let him go and got up to go to the kitchen to make some noodles.

When his wife’s phone call came in, he was so dizzy with smoke that his hearing seemed to be blocked. The shock was so great that he jumped up from the sofa as if his own butt had been lit by the smoke: “What’s going on, Gogo hasn’t come home yet?” His wife’s voice had a crying tone and asked if he had called the police. He grabbed the phone and rushed to the door: “I’m going over there now, let’s meet at the Yimin Street police station.” In his haste, he almost bumped into his mother who came out of the kitchen with a pot of noodles. He didn’t bother to explain, and almost broke out of the door. His mother, carrying a steaming pot of egg noodles, stood in the middle of the living room with a surprised look on her face and asked his father what was going on. My father patted his white head and let out a long sigh, “The inches are catching up with me.”


The police officer on duty at the police station tapped the transcript and asked her, “Are you saying that the child went out in the morning and hasn’t been in touch since?”

“I thought he went to school, who knew the teacher said he had not seen him all day.” The woman’s eyes were red, saying words, dropping a tear, “I really did not know that he used my phone to ask the teacher for leave in the morning. I was in the kitchen at the time, and I thought he was memorizing words. He has to memorize words every morning when he gets up. After eating he went to school with his backpack, no different than usual, I thought he really went to school ……”

The woman kept repeating “I thought”, she thought everything was normal, so she didn’t contact the child all day. The police officer nodded with his mouth open, concluding that their parent-child relationship was not good. This kind of thing goes, teenage children, what is in the mind never say to the family, last night was beaten by the father, this morning pretended to go to school as if nothing happened, before leaving also used the mother’s cell phone to the teacher asked for leave, that is not want to let people find, hiding last night did not play the game to play a game of pleasure.

“How about you go back first.” The police kindly suggested, “We will notify you if there is any news.”

The woman was lost in thought and did not say go back, nor did she say not to go back. The police officer was a little embarrassed, rubbing his hands and face. The night shift is on until seven tomorrow morning, and if this sad, confused mother refuses to leave, she will have to be “handed over” tomorrow morning. This time a man rushed in, with a wave of heat, the woman stood up. Four eyes met, the woman “wow” cried out. The police knew that the child’s father had come.

“Children of this age is not very good control, you are lucky, parents are knowledgeable and educated. Some time ago, a group of arrests, all half-grown children, called the parents to come, well, parents than the children are bastards.” The police and the man a chat, found each other actually know the same acquaintance, so the relationship is closer, talking is no longer the tone of official business. The search for people this thing, said not difficult, said easy is not easy. The man proposed to transfer the monitoring, the police said the monitoring are segmented, the child went out from home in the morning, this section belongs to our police station, but after the Dragon Bridge to the Dragon Bridge police station management, to transfer the monitoring, have to go there. According to the child’s mother, she called the “small dining table” hosting teacher, the teacher confirmed that the child also ate there at noon, then there is no doubt that the last place to see the child, is near the school. I have to chase the “eye in the sky” near the school to check the trajectory of the child’s movements after two o’clock. “Don’t worry, I’ll give a phone call to the Dragon Bridge side to ask.” The police reassured the couple, “the child is not for playing the game thing out of it, perhaps playing the game a day, the phone is dead. This body and no money, sooner or later have to go home.”

The police analysis is reasonable, the couple also understand this reasoning, but in the end they are the child’s own parents, a moment to find the child, a moment can not put the heart back into the stomach. The police on duty here gave a greeting to the police on duty there, and hurriedly thanked this side to look over there.


The couple stared at the surveillance screen with good eyes, saw their son carrying his school bag from the “small table” out, turned around at the intersection in front of the school, and went straight to Jinjiang Road. This section of the road is not long, it is only a few hundred meters away, is a cut-off road. If you drive, to the end of the viaduct pier there is no road, but people on foot can turn in through an opening, inserted into the ring road. The child leisurely climbed up the slope from the place of the opening and disappeared in the surveillance screen. The couple rushed to chase the next section of surveillance. Five minutes later, the child was seen again in the traffic on the ring road. He seemed a little confused, hands in the pockets of his pants, kicking and screaming, looking east and west, until the road is thinner, crossed the road and walked across the riverbank.

The city has done a good job of greening, the river bank planted a lot of trees, camphor, maple poplar, sapium, acacia, lady’s mantle in a row, under the trees of flowers and grasses are also lush, deep and shallow green against the colorful flowers, along the river outline a winding curve. The child went to the edge of the river and looked down, the river was calm, but the couple was nervous for no reason. Then the child leapt onto the one-meter-high embankment railing with a brace of both arms. “Gogo!” The woman couldn’t help but scream out. The husband squeezed her hand, the two immersive chase a thrilling drama like the whole body is frozen in front of the screen, leaving only two pairs of eyes moving with the picture. Accompanied by a police officer also stretched his long, thin neck forward.

The adults in front of the screen are carrying their hearts, but the child does not seem to be anxious, but feet on the embankment playing a game of balance beam. He opened his arms and spread his wings like a bird, wobbling and counting his steps eastward along the river. The width of that section of the embankment fence is no more than twenty centimeters, although it is much wider than the balance beam, but it still makes people worry that the child’s feet will slip and fall into the river. The woman held her husband’s hand, nails have been deep into the flesh, and her husband could not care less to cry out in pain. All their attention is on the child who is full of care, he took a step forward, their hearts followed up an inch. The child walked for a while, stopped and turned around to face the wide river. I can’t see his expression, only his thin, bony back, alone in the depth of the scene. The mother was on the verge of being unsupportable, her pale cheeks turning ruddy from brain congestion, her gaze beginning to falter. The husband wrapped his arms around his wife worriedly, so that she could fall into his arms in case of an unfortunate “accident”.

The child stood dangerously for a moment, then sat down on his butt on the embankment. The adults breathed a sigh of relief.

For a moment, the child was lost in thought, sitting on the embankment, looking away from the river and the birds fluttering over it, as if looking away from where he had come from and where he was going at the same time. It might be the warm womb of his mother, or the grand university of the future, or the dark ditch down low, or the filthy garbage can in the back alley …… Anyway, the child turned his back on the adults, immersed in his own world, without saying a word, without moving.

This almost stillness lasted for several minutes until several young men in strange costumes barged in.

“What do these people want?” The alert mother called out shrilly first. Neither the father nor the policeman replied, staring intently at the picture, equally interested in knowing the answer.

It seemed that the group was quite friendly, as they approached the child and neither grabbed the items he was carrying nor did they abuse him, but climbed in as if they had just made friends. They seemed to get along well, and soon the child leapt off the embankment railing and walked away with them. They disappeared into the depths of the last frame, and the couple thought they could continue to track the sub-camera as they had called before, but the police officer spread his hands and said regretfully, “No more.”

The couple did not understand what “gone” means, is not installed cameras, or can not transfer the afternoon surveillance video? They feel that since they have been chased here, how also have to figure out the whereabouts of their son. The couple could not resist the questioning, the police officer corrected the brim of his hat, stammered to express the following meaning: there is indeed a camera behind, but recently just broken, because it was set up in the middle of two zoning, jurisdiction is blurred, so it is not clear who should go to repair it. That means there’s no way to determine where the child went after disappearing into this frame tonight. “Let’s wait until tomorrow, we’ll contact the city’s information center and see.” The couple was still reluctant, trying to convince the police to help them check again, the police screwed up and yawned: “Sorry, I do not have the authority.” After yawning, the police closed the magnitude of the exaggerated oral cavity, see the couple look like the heart, liver, spleen and lungs have been picked up, and do not fall to advise a: “If you want me to say, your child just feel at home, in school are suffocating, looking for someone to play.”


The couple returned home lost in thought, neither one saying a word.

In a few minutes, a new day was about to dawn. What may be a new beginning for others seems to be a continuation of a stale pain for the couple. They were too late to blame each other, too late to angrily express their displeasure with each other, all of which seemed meaningless in the face of a new, uncertain day. The wife pushed open the door, her feet so heavy she could barely lift them anymore, when suddenly her gaze struck a spark at the two shoes haphazardly placed in the foyer. “Gogo is back!” She said to her husband in surprise. Her husband noticed it too; the sneakers were her son’s, maintaining their usual brash and rule-ignoring posture. The two men looked at each other and rushed toward the house.

In the bedroom, the child had fallen asleep with his pillow in his arms. He seemed to have experienced a long day of sleepiness and upheaval, and frowned in his sleep. The phone was casually thrown on the bed, showing the same tired and rushed look as its young owner. The mother went over and looked at her son’s sleepy, unsettled, childish face, two hot tears rolled out of her eyes and fell on her chest. The father stood behind his mother, sighed softly and took his wife’s shoulders. The couple stood beside the bed, silently watching the child who was just a baby a dozen years ago, his long arms and legs showing a tendency to grow taller than his father, but now shrinking nervously, clutching the moonlight-soaked cotton pillow and curling up into a baby’s form again. Why didn’t he let himself lie down more comfortably? The bed was obviously big enough, and his parents had ordered a comfortable and wide bed for his growth. They wanted his future to be free of a little constraint, but forgot that the blank spaces that the child did not want to arrive at were just superfluous parts.

The mother remembers the birth of her child. She held him as a newborn, like a rising sun. Her life was instantly illuminated by him, as if all those youthful songs of joy and ideal enthusiasm before did not deserve to enjoy a grand status anymore, and she became sublime and benevolent from then on because she became his mother, willing to convert her complete life into diapers, bottles, and a field of chicken feathers for this little man. She didn’t want to wish for a son, she just wanted his child to be healthy and happy. Such a simple wish, she thought it was divinely inspired and blessed by God, who knew that the more the chicken and dog days proceeded to the lively sound, the more distant from her composition gradually up. She was wrapped up in a strange force, and little by little she helped to take away the joy of her children from those whom even she found repulsive. Her relationship with her husband also became less harmonious, they could quarrel with each other over the smallest things, and she slowly became like the woman she once despised. But she was not able to realize it, always thinking that she had put in a lot of effort, and felt bitter and disappointed because she did not get her due reward.

It was not until she saw with her own eyes the danger of losing her child in front of the screen that she suddenly awoke and repented. Fortunately, it was just a screen taken out of context.

The father also felt guilty. He remembered the time when the child was held in the palm of his hand, so small and so light that he lifted him with one hand. The child giggled on the palm of his father’s hand, not afraid of the abrupt height. But later, as he became more and more able to look away through his own height, there was a parallax with his father. The father was actually a bit confused about this growing up topic, he was also a first time father and no one had taught him how to be a father properly. His own father, despite having three children, lacked fairness in this matter of parenting, leading him to believe that boys could accept neglect and rough treatment, which he even thought would help to refine their character and will.

It was also with the help of that out-of-context screen that he realized just how wrong he was.

The couple looked at the sleeping face of the child and their hearts welled up with infinite eudaimonia. He came out of a dangerous balance on the riverbank in a crooked way that made them dizzy watching him. Did he spread his arms in a posture to learn to fly? They felt his heaviness, as if they heard the sound of feathers swooping and falling as he lifted his wings. Now they pulled the camera from the screen back to the eyes, zooming in on the child’s face to conceal the exhaustion and boredom, as if pulling an inexplicable fiction into reality. They let out a deep sigh at the same time.

The ticking of the clock strikes the night, like a shiny brass button nailed to a pure diaphanous night, so clear that it emits a metallic sheen. The fictional reality that brought them together as intimately as when they were in love, sent away the last five minutes of the day, sent away the foggy divide between them. The wife rested her head on her husband’s chest, her lightly drooping eyelashes fluttering slightly: “We must be well, as a family.”

“Yes, be well.” The husband put his arm around his wife’s shoulders.

The fine moonlight rustled like a hypnotic music, sprinkling the ground in a clear and shallow manner, a white lotus-like cloud floating in the watery flowing moonlight. For no apparent reason, she suddenly remembered in her husband’s arms that she hadn’t submitted an audio assignment for two days. Oh, she had finally been a bad student for once, just like the child she sometimes hatefully chided for not completing her homework in time. No, it was different, she was an adult, and she could have made a tenable excuse that she hadn’t gotten around to turning in the perfect assignment in the midst of the noise of life, but she didn’t want to do that because, at that moment, she was seeing the white lotus, both real and imaginary, languidly stretching out and quietly blossoming numerous petals of jade-colored flowers in the river of day and night.

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