When Dreams Fade: A Look at the Fleeting Nature of Love and Friendship

That’s the age when you and your friends talk about the many, many places you want to go.

You were walking in the corridor, counting how many places you wanted to go. Your friend followed you and yelled with a bad face, “You are such an ambitious guy, leave here and see who will accompany you every day.”

You turned around and took her hand, smiled quite flatteringly, and said you could go with me. Your friend shakes his hand and tells you to go ahead and pass the English test first.

The so-called friends can be so good. Each person wears a pair of headphones on the CD player, and can sing along softly no matter whose CD is playing. When I was embarrassed to buy books or CDs, I pooled the money in my pockets to buy a bowl of rice noodles. Sit by the lake and read her your favorite lyrics and burst into laughter halfway through. When you are in trouble, she will not hesitate to say “Where are you, I will find you”, and when you are sad, she will cry without shame and say “I feel very sad, please come here quickly”. Do you feel that if your friendship is measured with a ruler, it will definitely extend to the end that is far beyond the horizon?

Finally, you promised her: “No matter which country or city I go to, the first person I call will definitely be you.”

Six years later, the person calling you from a place half a world away from you is a good friend.

Your eyes are red from staying up late working, and your voice is muffled because you haven’t spoken all night. You listen to the noisy voices over there and say, “Where are you now?” The other side pauses and says, “I just got off the plane and now I’m in Saskatchewan.” You try to look interested and ask, “What’s next? ?Where is the next city you want to go to?”

Where do you want to go? I want to go to many, many places.

Canada, United States, France, United Kingdom, Japan, Spain.

So to be more specific, Saskatchewan, New York, Paris, London, Tokyo, Madrid.

Where will you arrive and how far can you go?

Who was the person who was talking about going far away at that time? Did she think of a way to come back?

Then one day, a long time later, you look at the caller ID from another country on the phone and you can’t remember who is calling. You answered the phone and listened to the other party’s voice, but still didn’t recognize who it was. Finally, you said to the noisy voice over there, “Who is it?” After waiting for a long period of silence, what you heard was the suppressed crying coming from the other side.

Of course it’s not just that.

You met him when you entered high school. You met under the tree during lunch break. He smiled a little at you, and just when you were about to blush and your heart beat faster, he suddenly said: “Classmate, according to my estimation, the rice grains stuck to your cheeks have been there for thirty minutes.”

You immediately discover: it turns out that the elimination of illusions only requires such a short process.

When he was seventeen, he told you, I think we will be together for a long time.

You look at him with contempt, what else can you do besides sweet words!

When you graduated at the age of eighteen, he told you, I like you, my absolute favorite. It took me a lot of courage and thought before I dared to tell you!

You were thinking that everyone who was confessed by the person they liked should be happy and shy. Why was it that you were the only one who had to fight with goosebumps all over your body? You waved your hand despite your nausea, okay, I approve.

When he was twenty-one, he sent you downstairs and said, “Baby, I love you.”

After you got home and you lay in bed unable to sleep, do you think those stories where you have to struggle with the sentence “I like you” for a long time after becoming lovers are in animations or comics? It’s all farts. There is never a lack of such communication between you. On the contrary, if you say it for a long time, saying “I love you” will be the same as saying “I want to eat”. You are gradually becoming less stingy in this regard, not because people who are not shy are sometimes shy about speaking up. It’s just that we’ve known each other for too long. One day, when you and he were on the phone at night until he was too sleepy and he wouldn’t let you hang up, you were half asleep and half awake and said, “Okay, I love you, please, I’m going to sleep.” When you finished speaking, you suddenly woke up, and you were stunned for a long time after hanging up the phone.

When you were twenty-three years old, you called him at 12 o’clock. His voice was very tired and he said that I was working overtime. You said I would die now. What did he say? You said happy birthday. He was quite surprised, today is my birthday. I forgot all about it. It’s okay, you said, just keep busy. take care.

When I was twenty-five years old, I suddenly felt confused, so we separated for a while. One day we met at a restaurant where we were having dinner together. You each had a companion. In the end, we just sat together at the same table. In the evening, he took you home. When he got downstairs, he watched you go upstairs quietly. When you turned on the light in the room, the phone rang. After you answered the call, you heard his muffled voice. , after thinking about it for a long time, I still don’t think it’s possible. I want to ask you, is the man who had dinner with you just now not your boyfriend? You feel like laughing and crying a little bit. Do you think the girl who came with you is your girlfriend?

So they were together again.

When you were twenty-six years old, you saw him shopping with a young girl, and you didn’t say anything when you went home.

When they were twenty-seven, they separated again and then got together again.

We are obviously less and less moved, but it seems like we are missing something when we are apart, and we cannot go on well together. One year, two years, and another three years. I’m already used to it. Those dreams I had many years ago, where you and him were sitting by the fireplace in the old house, and it was freezing outside the window. You leaned against him and occasionally stretched out your feet to warm yourself. He would reach out and pinch your nose gently. It seemed like that. Really just a dream. When you are extremely bored, you will also think about it. Maybe it’s not that you don’t love, but that you don’t know how else to love.

How long do we like something?

You’ll get bored of a song after listening to it for a few days.

It’s time to change a drink after drinking it for a few months.

How is it that you have liked someone for several years? It’s time to find another one.

You think of the days when you and he were still sixteen years old, the days when you shared an umbrella, and the handle of the umbrella he held was obviously leaning towards you, but half of your shoulders were wet.

Time cannot be turned back, and you feel that it has finally come to an end.

The remaining thirty, forty, fifty, or the rest of his life has nothing to do with him.

How long can a feeling last?

The rose you received in your hand withered in a few days. Can the fragrance remain in your memory?

That song you once heard will be outdated in a few years. Do you still remember the melody?

The sky has cleared up a long time ago and the person holding the umbrella with you is no longer the same person. Is that umbrella still standing in the corner of your wall?

Will you forget all this?

It seems like everything has an expiration date. Love or friendship, and much, much more.

The process, the setbacks, the time, the reality, whatever it was that made him expire. You have heard the suppressed cries, you know the transitions of emotions, you know the changes in the mood. You are so sorry and helpless.

When you stop in such a beautiful and cold place, it takes a long time to think back and take a look. The other side is still young and beautiful, with sycamore trees forming a straight line on both sides, and boys or girls rushing past staggeringly, laughing. Stay in your ears for a long time. So you turned your back and covered your wet eyes with your hands.

Then you understand.

It turns out that it was only those few years when we truly fell in love and were truly sad.