The United Kingdom once orchestrated an extraordinary inquiry.
Commencing in 1946, it spanned 70 years to trace the developmental trajectories of nearly 70,000 children, endeavoring to elucidate the factors contributing to the widening disparity among them.
As per the survey findings, the success of most children does not hinge on IQ; barring those with congenital ailments, the IQs of other children are nearly uniform.
Furthermore, beyond the impact of familial circumstances and socio-economic conditions, another pivotal determinant influencing a child’s potential for a comeback in later life is the high-caliber companionship provided by their parents.
The optimal love parents can bestow upon their progeny is characterized by high-quality companionship.
Yale University has undertaken an inquiry into the formative years of children’s growth for over four decades.
Discerning that each stage of a child’s development possesses distinctive attributes, such as:
– At the age of 3, fostering creativity becomes paramount. Encouraging children to draw, weave stories, engage in colored clay activities, and pursue crafts is pivotal.
– The age of 5 signifies the zenith of intimacy and harmony in parent-child relationships. Children exhibit a particular fondness for their parents’ company and commendation.
– The age of 6 marks the onset of internal conflicts and rebellion in children. Parents are required to bestow additional patience upon their children.
Should parents seize every critical juncture and afford their children ample companionship, success is assured in the progeny’s future.
I have an acquaintance named Xiao Ning, a young lady nurtured by her parents with a constant supply of “companionship and love” since her early years.
Upon returning home from school each day, her parents would join her in the study, engrossed in reading. While her parents perused books and materials pertinent to their professions, she immersed herself in children’s literature.
This routine persisted unfailingly. Regardless of how occupied her parents were, there was invariably someone offering her companionship.
While other children spent weekends idly watching television, Xiao Ning’s parents engaged her in mountain climbing and skating for physical activity. They frequented bookstores, pursued handicrafts, and explored painting together, acquiring a multitude of skills.
Consequently, upon entering college, she emerged as one of the few well-rounded athletes in her class. Whether discussed by counselors or classmates, the unanimous reaction was “exemplary.”
Thus, it is unequivocally accurate to assert that exceptional children are products of profound “companionship.”
When parents bestow companionship, patience, and love upon their offspring, the children reciprocate with a brilliance akin to a celestial body.
The improper method of accompanying a child may undermine the child’s potential.
Once, at a train station, I witnessed a mother vehemently berating her child.
Amidst her tirade, she occasionally asserted, “It’s entirely your father’s fault for not fetching you.”
Confronting the mother’s reprimands, the child shielded his face, tears streaming down.
Upon closer observation, the cause for the anger was remarkably simple—the child refused to sit obediently on the suitcase and persistently lay on the floor.
To be candid, witnessing this scene evoked genuine sympathy for the child.
Many parents are susceptible to succumbing to their emotions. Through negative emotions and misguided forms of companionship, they not only stifle their children but also inflict pain upon themselves.
An educational expert posited:
“Exceptional children are the outcome of high-caliber education, whereas problematic children are the byproduct of problematic households.”
Incorrect companionship methods from parents can undermine their children’s endeavors and potential.
Envision, for a moment, undertaking a task while your ears are incessantly assailed by various negative expressions—sermons, accusations, criticisms, complaints. How would your heart respond?
There exists a psychological phenomenon termed the “over-limit effect,” denoting extreme impatience or rebelliousness induced by excessive, intense, or prolonged stimulation.
For a child subjected to constant yelling and criticism, rebellion and volatile mood swings become inevitable.
Hence, parents ought to regulate their emotions, opt for more judicious coping mechanisms, and employ reason to resolve issues. In this process, children benefit from the correct guidance and companionship of their parents.
Five golden principles to instruct you on spending quality time with your progeny.
Researchers at Harvard University devised an innovative project named “Ready 4 Routine,” signifying preparation for daily activities. The objective is to assist parents in enhancing the quality of companionship and augmenting their children’s execution abilities within a limited timeframe.
Based on experiments, researchers distilled the PEERE rule to guide parents on how to better accompany their children.
PEERE stands for Pause, Engage, Encourage, Reflect, and Extend.
– Pause – discern your child’s needs.
– Engage – participate in your child’s activities.
– Encourage – support your child’s ideas.
– Reflect – engage in honest exchanges of ideas.
– Extend – broaden children’s horizons.
Harvard University researchers found that parents employing these methods, even with minimal daily time investment, achieved highly effective companionship with their children.
Proficiency in utilizing the PEERE rules necessitates continuous practice, internalization of these methods, and above all, attentiveness to the child’s needs, emotions, acceptance, and collaborative exploration.