The integrity of personality is a basic guarantee for an individual to exist normally in society.
Before we emphasize the interaction between individuals and others, we often ignore this point because we assume that people’s personalities are complete.
but it is not the truth.
Many people’s personalities are actually incomplete, but we don’t emphasize it in our daily lives.
From a psychological point of view, imperfect personality is a relative phenomenon relative to a sound personality.
It mainly means that individuals will have various psychological imperfections, and the manifestations of these phenomena may be diverse.
Our common low self-esteem, cowardice, indifference, pessimism and other phenomena are actually concrete manifestations of imperfect personality.
In terms of type, it can be roughly divided into avoidant personality defects, borderline personality defects, and antisocial personality defects.
All in all, incomplete personality is a very troublesome thing.
Because this kind of negative performance will affect yourself and those around you to a great extent,
It can even lead to something with very serious consequences.
However, this kind of personality imperfection is relatively hidden and difficult to detect. This requires us to have a pair of eyes that are good at discovering incomplete personality in our daily life.
In fact, people with incomplete personalities generally have some characteristics.
When we interact socially with others,
In fact, you can judge whether the other party’s personality is flawed through these details.
Of course, before doing this, we need to first understand what the individual’s psychological state and personality structure are generally like.
multiple personality structure
Although the concept of personality structure has been explained to a certain extent, it is still not particularly easy to understand because the relevant content is too abstract.
We might as well take a look at the explanations of relevant scholars.
Psychological researchers compare different aspects of life to colorful lights, and a perfect personality structure is like a complete spectrum, symbolizing the comprehensiveness of an individual.
It is difficult for an individual to achieve a very complete personality structure through innate growth, because from the perspective of Freud’s triple personality structure theory,
Individuals can be divided into:
The id is a relatively primitive psychological state.
Basically, it drives one’s behavior based on the individual’s most primitive and impulsive desires.
Self refers to the psychological state that occurs when an individual has rational and logical abilities after entering society.
In this form, individuals will control their behavior through rationality.
Superego refers to a psychological state that occurs after an individual enters society and is influenced by conscience and good work ethics.
Psychology emphasizes the education of individuals from the outside world, and in educational psychology,
The important ways to promote an individual to have a complete personality are morality, wisdom and will.
These three forces also correspond to Freud’s triple personality structure.
So when we try to understand the complete personality structure, we might as well look at it this way:
Morality gives us standards to restrain our behavior; wisdom enhances our ability to deal with difficulties in different situations;
Will allows us to have the courage to move forward even after being hit.
So what are the characteristics of people with incomplete personalities?
1. Extremely selfish
Lu Kun, a famous writer and thinker in the Ming Dynasty, once said: “Selfishness is an obstacle to building people up.”
We can also find in real life that selfishness is one of the more serious among many negative personalities.
We can even think that the more selfish a person is, the more incomplete his personality will be.
Although today’s society has been largely dominated by egocentric ideas derived from Western society,
Even influenced by selfish ideology, in the eyes of many young people, life should be “living for yourself”.
But we have to admit that being selfish is indeed a very bad behavior.
From the perspective of life development, when we are still in the state of infants,
At this time, he is in a very selfish state – because he has no ability to take care of himself,
Therefore, parents of young children all over the world must meet their needs in all aspects.
This is why when we mention the word “giant baby”,
You will immediately understand the logic that the individual has poor ability to live on his own.
Therefore, children who grow up with love and care generally will not become selfish and self-centered as adults.
After all, our lives must be completed by ourselves.
Many times, remarks disguised as emotions are still self-centered in nature.
For example, what many people say, “How can you bear to leave me?” “Don’t you care about me anymore?”
The essence of his remarks is that he still hopes that the other party will pay for him, and is unwilling to bear and face the difficulties of life by himself.
2. Various violations
“Violation” here refers to more than just the literal meaning and our most common behaviors.
It is a multi-faceted violation of physical, mental and psychological aggression against others.
In specific social life, this kind of violation is generally manifested as the desire for control and possessiveness.
In Freud’s view, it is precisely because of the incompleteness and fragmentation of personality that people want to control and possess other people’s lives.
Therefore, in psychoanalytic theory, the phenomenon of desire for control is actually a psychological defense mechanism——
When no one close to them is around, these people may feel helpless, lost, and even angry.
The most common phenomenon we see is that some parents regard their children as an extension of their own lives.
Or regard the existence of children as a kind of attachment to oneself, and use the relationship and ethics between the two generations to control the behavior and even thoughts of the children.
The purpose is to let them live the life they (parents) want, not the life the children themselves want.
In addition to control and possessiveness, “Virgin White Lotus” is also a similar manifestation of incomplete personality.
This concept refers to those individuals who do not understand others and others at all, and occupy the moral high ground from the perspective of a bystander.
He blames and educates all parties involved in the incident, as if he is the person in charge of the entire world order.
Each individual has his own independent personality structure and life trajectory, regardless of his relationship with the other person,
What should be done is just behavior based on basic social interactions.
Instead of intervening or even manipulating without the other party’s consent.
A complete personality is important, and so is the ability to recognize whether others’ personalities are complete.