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Don’t live your life backwards

More than a year ago, I was in a depressed mood when I saw a quote.

“Women, can not control the mouth, not many good life. Can not control the mouth of gluttony, fat, ruin the body; can not control the mouth of love chatter, low emotional intelligence, can not grasp the family. Women as long as a good mouth, almost half of the success. So don’t nag, don’t complain.”

I read this, I was inwardly awe, did not rely on my three orders of nagging, the family can barely survive? The meaning of the passage is the opposite: I have to shut up before I can be happy. The day is so sad, is it because I am living the opposite? I decided to clench my teeth and try to shut my nagging mouth tight.

My husband returned late at night, no alcohol, but certainly drank a lot of tea, talking about new investment projects, confidently flying, has long ignored the wife waiting at home.

Looking at him, I want to nag, want to remind him again, how hard it was, borrowing money, failure, debt collection, in order to save money to live in a ramshackle house along the railroad, today, although small achievements, but can not get carried away …… but I try to hold back, say nothing, read my book, slightly closed eyes pretending to sleep.

He was surprised that I did not reminisce with him tonight, no longer remind him that he was once a small redneck, took the initiative to come over and ask: “Why do not talk?”

I smiled and said, “Too late, tired, listen to successful people speech to sleep, ready to do inspirational dreams.” He smiled shyly, actually kissed my forehead, lying next to me sleeping peacefully. And I, just now also tumbled the heart, but slowly calm.

It seems that I really got it wrong before, not the more nagging the more stable the day, but to keep your mouth shut, say less, try to say pleasant words, happiness will not be noisy away. The ancients said that tranquility leads to distant, it turns out that they have long understood the philosophy of the order of life, tranquility leads to distant, not to distant after the tranquility.

As a middle-aged mother, I follow my child every day and shout “do your homework”, keep an eye on him, and tutor him meticulously, like an old cow, but I get no gratitude, only impatience in return.

Am I also reversing the order? He is learning for himself, he should be the one to take the initiative, why am I begging him to learn instead?

So I stopped supervising and tutoring.

The child was initially happy, just playful, after a period of time squared away, because the homework was repeatedly criticized by the teacher or even detained in school, before his essays were always selected for the school newspaper, now all returned, home did not digest the classroom knowledge, the new lesson can not keep up with …… classmates before the adoring gaze disappeared, but also laugh at him to answer the question made jokes.

At this point, I seized the opportunity to the little guy subtly sidetracked. He began to actively study, took the initiative to request my tutoring, and had a sense of gratitude.

At work, I also began to reflect that instead of spending energy every day to figure out what the leader was thinking, I should seriously improve myself and cultivate the ability that is hard to be replaced. Slowly, from my concern about the leadership became the leadership concern about me, water adversity into a reversal.

In fact, many aspects of our lives are so over the reverse.

For example, due to busy, home chaos, we often waste time in order to find something, which also seriously affects the mood, which always vowed: “wait for the day there is time, I must properly summarize and organize some.” Later found that the home is first organized and organized in order to take the convenience, to save a lot of time.

Another example, want to do a thing, want to go to a place, want to buy a long-desired things, but always for various reasons and temporarily put on hold, we comfort ourselves that “when the days are good later, I must achieve.” These are most likely also the opposite, right? If it’s true, that thing you want to do, that place you want to go, that thing you want to have, we are a little more positive, some of them can easily be realized, the day thus adds a lot of beauty, do not have to wait for the so-called good days to realize them.

With people, always think that the other party to express friendly first, and then learn to change the order, their own first to express goodwill and friendly, many relationships thus become pleasant. There is also the couple’s feelings, always thought that the feelings over time fade, so lazy management, in fact, is the first lazy management, the feelings will fade, spend some effort to please each other, the original feelings have been there, and as old as the wine, the more fragrant.

Also, I used to think that the tedious days in front of me would pass casually, and then I would go back to a quality life, but later I felt that quality should start with the daily routine in front of me, so I played a beautiful song when washing greasy dishes, dancing and enjoying the clouds outside the window when choosing vegetables, rubbing my hands with coconut oil and lavender essential oil mixed with fine salt after I finished my chores, and my skin became fragrant and smooth …… gray and dull daily, thus becoming bright and brilliant.

Day and night, the cycle of the seasons, the human heart is hidden, life has its own laws and order, too much haste, overstepping the bounds, and sacrificing the end of the day may be reversed, causing a water reverse. So, if things don’t go well, sit down and think about it, your days are reversed? If so, try to put it right.

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