This is a time of competition. Many parents have intentionally or unintentionally implanted the “competition model” into their children’s minds. Competition itself is a neutral word. It is a benign competition for people to have a positive and positive effect on health; it is vicious competition that makes people become selfish, narrow, jealous, evasive, and retreating. Children can’t afford to lose is the negative impact of vicious competition.
Competition is the child’s instinct
Child psychologists believe that at about 4 years of age, children can self-evaluate based on their own experience. This evaluation is based on competition.
Studies have shown that from the age of 3 to 3 and a half, the child’s sense of competition is growing stronger, constantly reference to others, constantly changing the “reference coefficient” – the criteria for judging, and constantly comparing others to evaluate themselves. Children’s competition sometimes seems naked, even a bit “cruel”, but this age of competition is instinctive and indispensable. For children, things big and small — including games, eating and drinking Lhasa — have the consequences of success or failure, winning or losing, leading or falling behind. In this case, parents need to give some encouragement, or to divert: Although you are running slowly in kindergarten, your handwork is particularly beautiful.
“Exclusive competition” is not suitable for children
The TV station is going to the kindergarten to give the children a video, and the teachers, children and parents know that they are very happy. After the film crew came, I found that in order to achieve better audio-visual effects, all children could not be allowed to participate. I did not expect that the next day, parents would come to the school to complain: “The teacher hurt the child’s self-esteem.” It turned out that there was no program. After returning home, some children will not eat, lose their temper, and cry: “I haven’t performed well yet, why can’t I go to TV on TV?” “The teacher is eccentric, likes XX, doesn’t like me.” After the parents know Not only did she not guide her children positively, but she also told the teacher to the head of the school, making the director and the teacher very passive.
The rules of the game in the adult workplace are an “exclusive competition”, but there is no fundamental conflict of interest between the children, and it is not necessary to fight for the outcome of your loss. The implementation of “exclusive competition” education for children will make children less understanding, tolerance and generosity about people and things, and it is easy to defeat self-esteem and self-confidence because of a small matter.
Let children learn to cooperate in competition
“Competition” is not the purpose of our children. “Winning” is not the meaning of children’s survival. If a person’s happiness is based on defeating the same kind, then he is destined to be lonely. How can a lonely person have happiness? Parents should train their children to cooperate in competition. Only competition without cooperation can only lead to isolation, bring tension to classmates, add a lot of troubles to themselves, and are very unfavorable to life and career.
The development goal of childhood is firstly how to become a person, develop the basic behavioral ability of children, listen, see, speak, act, think, and then communicate with others and integrate into the group, improve the child’s mental ability, to communicate The foundation, the establishment of mutually beneficial and mutually beneficial interpersonal cooperation is the key to success.